Catch My Breath

"Catch my breath...no one can hold me back, I ain't got time for that..."

Wow - that pretty much sums up this whole week for me.  It's gone by so fast, I don't even know what happened.

 This week my awesome mother-in-law came in to spend time with us, and to hang out with Sawyer while I worked.  It was such a blessing, and so great for Sawyer to have one-on-one time with Grandma.  They had lots of fun adventures at the Zoo and the Fort Worth Science Museum.  I joined them for the Titanic exhibit (I'm such a sucker for anything Titanic...it's so romantic and doomed all at the same time.  I'll never let go, Jack Dawson!) and had such a good time!  It was so incredible to see the artifacts they found at the bottom of the ocean, some 70-90 years after the ship sunk.  It kind of blew my mind that it took them until the mid-80s to find the wreckage site, and that in just a few more decades the iron-eating particles in the ocean will make the boat collapse into itself and disintegrate.  Some of the things they found (rows of undamaged dishes, shoes with shoelaces, a towel) were incredible.  The care that it takes to bring something like that up from the bottom of the sea and preserve it so that everyday people can see it is so detailed and intricate.  Patience is a virtue they all must possess! 

Sawyer's boarding pass was for Thomas Andrews, Jr., the Titanic architect who perished in the sinking of the ship.  It was really cool for him since there were several mentions of him throughout the exhibit, and Sawyer was pumped to be "that guy"!  

About to board the RMS Titanic!  Sawyer was kind of pissed we didn't get to see the real boat. 

I've been struggling this week to get in a routine, to find my workout time, to be all the things I need to be for everyone, everywhere.  When things aren't "just so", I find it easy to get distracted and not use my time wisely because I'm so off.  Throw the unnecessary Daylight Savings switch and I have been just a mess!  I was feeling really sorry for myself and I went to People.com to look at famous people to space out again and I came across Jillian Michaels talking about how hard it is to balance motherhood with everything else she has going on.  I was like...HOLY CRAP.  Jillian Michaels, Ms. "No Complaining Allowed" is like son of a bitch, this is HARD.  And just like that, I felt a whole lot better.  I guess there was some gratification that I took from reading that, knowing that someone who seemed to see life in only one way was having her eyes opened to the challenges that being a mother brings and admitting that she was wrong before.  It didn't give me an excuse to not do what I need to do; rather I really took it as a sign to take each day as they come and to know that I'm not alone in this struggle.  (I still want Jillian's arms, though.  She's crazy ripped!  I'd let her come be my personal trainer any day, and I wouldn't complain a peep!)

I then met up with a friend for a random lunch and had a really enjoyable time catching up with her.  She really gave me another boost of confidence that my hard work was paying off, and that she (like so many others, thank you) is cheering me on.  I was humbled by her words, and felt a renewed responsibility to get back out there and make my weight loss goals a reality.  It can happen.  It really can.  I just needed to hear it from somebody else.

That same day (awesome day, huh?), m'friend Molly gave me a little shout out in her latest Forbes article.  Y'all.  I about freaked out.  It was so cool!  Now, the other 2.4 million Jennifer's in this world might think it was them, but I know it was me.  :)  You can check out her article here.  

So...after all of that, I had to run.  I just had to.  I threw my hair in a pony, grabbed my ear buds and just took off.  The run was like a really good run/walk (still working on endurance), and I was cruising around my neighborhood pretty quickly.  I have a Spotify playlist called Run Jenn Run, and I try to keep songs on there that I like and that are upbeat so I am not scrolling through my music while trying to keep a move on.  Kelly Clarkson "Catch My Breath" came on and it just hit me...this song just really sums up a lot of where I'm at now.  It is so simple now.  I let a lot of things for a long time go on that I didn't like.  I turned my cheek to things I didn't want to deal with.  I was always reactive, not proactive.  I let things happen to me, for me.  That's all changing.  It's already changed a lot.  For the first time in a long time, I am ok with it, too.