I'll be honest...I kinda think the Thankful Days of November posts on Facebook are a beating. I know, I know - I'm a Scrooge! I just think it's a bit silly to announce all the things you are (obviously or maybe just should go without saying) thankful for.
With that said, I am thankful for a few things I wasn't this time last year:
I'm so thankful for the past few years. They have been hard. They have been full of challenges that I have failed at. They have been not without heartache. They tested me more than I really felt like it was fair. But, I am so glad for all of those failures...because I wouldn't have learned the lessons I did, found out who my true friends are and learned to make better choices in the future. I'm so glad for the heartache, because I think it just stretched my heart so it could be more full. I'm glad for all the tests because even though I'm a terrible test taker and I suffer from extreme test anxiety, I think I've passed most of them and have a steady "B" average. I like where I'm at now. It's a good place to be.
I'm thankful for my house. I have not always loved this house, and this time last year I started to get really "house jealous" of those moving into bigger and better places. I looked it as an ugly starter home with no potential, but when it was suddenly taken from me it was all I wanted to go home to. Ugly ass linoleum floors and all. I'm so thankful for RJ, who dropped everything and made it a beautiful home, one I still get excited to walk into (especially after Stephanie has been here to make it beautiful). This home is ours - we picked the floors, the paint, the counters, the design. We brought our babies home to this house. It is special. The memories will never be erased, but now there is just newer and prettier surroundings to make them in!
Speaking of RJ, I'm super thankful for him. I joke about being the customer that never goes away, but honestly - I'm glad he wanted to keep me around. I never dreamed that the week I'd be moving home would be the week I lost my job. What a slap in the face. Thankfully, he finds me entertaining and somewhat useful and I love every day I get to work for him. It's been a huge blessing for my family. It's changed our lives completely.
I'm thankful for my health. I'm also thankful that I decided to quit being a fat ass and figure some things out to get better. I am glad I didn't stop at a few dead ends or "I don't really know" and trusted myself to find out about gluten and what evil things it can do to someone that has an allergy to it. I'm growing into a hippie more and more every day, and I love it. Pass me a poncho and let's twist my hair into dreads!
I'm thankful for running. It's by far the most rewarding things I've gotten myself into, athletically speaking. The feeling I had when I crossed that finish line at my first race was indescribable. It has been something I constantly have to work at, but something I miss when I don't do it. I love the feeling I get when I pound the pavement, and the esteem when I can truthfully say to someone "I'm a runner." It's really cool. I'm glad Misty pushed me, and I'm really glad I didn't tell her to leave me alone (even thought I kind of wanted to).
I'm thankful for ole Seanny boy. He knows why. I was thankful for him last year, and the previous like 12 - but I love him lots and lots.
I'm thankful for my funny, funny boys. My kids are the coolest. Seriously. Like, don't even argue with me. :)
I'm thankful for friends, fun nights, wine, whiskey, fabulous high heels and dresses that fit again and look amazeballs. I'm thankful for God, His mercy on this silly girl, and His love for me even though I don't always follow the rules. He is a pretty forgiving dude. Thank goodness, but I figure it isn't His first rodeo with a spirited lady. :)
And lastly...I am thankful for those that are still reading this journey. As of today, I'm officially 25 pounds lighter and three sizes smaller. My back hurts less and my 5K time is shorter. I want people to know that you can make a change, even when you think you just can't. You can go big, or you can do one thing at a time. Just do it. It is worth it. It really is.
Wednesday, November 21, 2012
Friday, November 16, 2012
Oh, cocktail dress
I think we all know I'm pretty cheap. I hate to spend money on silly things that I will only wear/use once. I don't have many events that warrant a cocktail dress, and if I did I'd most likely be around the same people - so I can't pull a Kate Middleton on that, either. She can get away with wearing things twice because she is gorgeous and her dresses are like $3994993929 a piece. I'd wear that shit again, too.
I borrowed an adorable dress to wear to the Margarita Ball tomorrow and had every intention of being REALLLYYYY good and not eating veeerrryyyy much. Well....hum. I kinda forgot to do that and now I'm scared that the size 12 dress will look awful. There is nothing worse than being miserable in a dress. It's quite possibly worse than miserable shoes. At least you can kick off your shoes. I'm pretty sure I can't kick off my dress - not that kind of party, I'm guessing.
I did just get my family pics back and while I absolutely love them - I really don't like me in any of them. That is just me being picky, it has NOTHING to do with the photographer, pictures, anything. I think in my head I just have a thinner face and I thought I'd be able to really see that more than I do. It's silly, no one would ever notice but me, but still sucks. I know there are big changes that have happened and still are happening, but it's never fun dealing with the unhappy chubby girl deep down inside.
On the up side, however, I have this dress that I bought for my best friends wedding four years ago (really? Four years? Good lord. Where is the time going?) that barely fit then and hasn't fit since. Well, after trying on the dress I borrowed (pre-pigout) I was feeling pretty good about myself and so I thought "Hey, see what that looks like!" So, I put it on. And it zipped! First time in four years it ever came close. Too bad this dress is spring/summer fabric and print or I'd just wear it instead. It's adorable and hopefully I'll have some place in the spring to wear it to.
So, we have a super insane crazy busy weekend and then on to Thanksgiving. I'm running in the Turkey Trot and am not really worried about feeling too left out at dinner because everything we eat pretty much is GF already, and I'm ordering a pie so that will help with my sugar need. Mom is going to make adjustments on her stuffing and I think we will be good to go. We had Sawyer's Thanksgiving Feast at school today, and that was NOT a GF situation at all. I tend to live in my little safe food bubble and so rarely venture out of it that it tends to shock me how much stuff has gluten in it when I'm not in control of the menu. I brought some trail mix and thank god I did because I was starving when I got home. I did have a finger sandwich with chicken salad, but I knew two bites in that the white bread was not going to do me any favors so I didn't eat anymore. I'm proud of my restraint - that is something very hard for me to have around food. I know being "gluten-ized" is not fun times, though, so I'm learning to just do with out more and more every day!
I borrowed an adorable dress to wear to the Margarita Ball tomorrow and had every intention of being REALLLYYYY good and not eating veeerrryyyy much. Well....hum. I kinda forgot to do that and now I'm scared that the size 12 dress will look awful. There is nothing worse than being miserable in a dress. It's quite possibly worse than miserable shoes. At least you can kick off your shoes. I'm pretty sure I can't kick off my dress - not that kind of party, I'm guessing.
I did just get my family pics back and while I absolutely love them - I really don't like me in any of them. That is just me being picky, it has NOTHING to do with the photographer, pictures, anything. I think in my head I just have a thinner face and I thought I'd be able to really see that more than I do. It's silly, no one would ever notice but me, but still sucks. I know there are big changes that have happened and still are happening, but it's never fun dealing with the unhappy chubby girl deep down inside.
On the up side, however, I have this dress that I bought for my best friends wedding four years ago (really? Four years? Good lord. Where is the time going?) that barely fit then and hasn't fit since. Well, after trying on the dress I borrowed (pre-pigout) I was feeling pretty good about myself and so I thought "Hey, see what that looks like!" So, I put it on. And it zipped! First time in four years it ever came close. Too bad this dress is spring/summer fabric and print or I'd just wear it instead. It's adorable and hopefully I'll have some place in the spring to wear it to.
So, we have a super insane crazy busy weekend and then on to Thanksgiving. I'm running in the Turkey Trot and am not really worried about feeling too left out at dinner because everything we eat pretty much is GF already, and I'm ordering a pie so that will help with my sugar need. Mom is going to make adjustments on her stuffing and I think we will be good to go. We had Sawyer's Thanksgiving Feast at school today, and that was NOT a GF situation at all. I tend to live in my little safe food bubble and so rarely venture out of it that it tends to shock me how much stuff has gluten in it when I'm not in control of the menu. I brought some trail mix and thank god I did because I was starving when I got home. I did have a finger sandwich with chicken salad, but I knew two bites in that the white bread was not going to do me any favors so I didn't eat anymore. I'm proud of my restraint - that is something very hard for me to have around food. I know being "gluten-ized" is not fun times, though, so I'm learning to just do with out more and more every day!
Sunday, November 4, 2012
Oh, the shame
So, I kinda didn't work out a lot last week...
I also didn't run the 5k I said I was going to, either.
I didn't make the greatest food choices and even had a slight case of being "Glutenized" by some renegade soy sauce.
I had family pictures taken, and I was 3 lbs heavier than I should've been.
I know - I know. This is all, like, not the end of the world, but if I don't keep myself accountable, then who is?
I had a really weird week - full of distractions, full of emotions about it being the year anniversary of our house fire, full of friends and fun events, and somewhat full of wine (which I rarely drink a lot of anymore, to be honest). I love me some vino. I love drinking it with friends, and enjoying life like it should be. I like (gluten-free) dips and chips a LOT...and I love that my friends think about me when having me over and make sure I'm not eating something I shouldn't. I just can't let myself chow down even though its "safe" food. Overeater, much?
Honestly...I can't believe it's been a year since the fire. I'm not sure I could even put into words what that experience was like, and it almost feels like another life time ago. I'm sure my parents would beg to differ, though, but thank the Lord they were willing to have all 6 of us move in on a moments notice. I'm not sure if I even asked if that would be ok, but thanks Mom and Dad - you da bomb. That was pretty awesome of y'all. I barely remember Everett's 1st birthday, and you would think I'd be doing everything I could to make his 2nd so awesome, but..I'm kinda stuck on that, too. I have a week to get my act together, and so that means I pretty much have Saturday to figure it out if procrastination goes according to plan. Just keeping it real, people.
So, its a new week and I have the chance to start again on a fresh slate. I have signed up for the Turkey Trot and I WILL make that race, so it's time to get serious and train like I should. I'll be incorporating strength training a few days a week, and I love it. I'd lift weights over doing cardio any day, but I know I need to do the cardio to continue to lose weight. I have roughly 13 lbs (give or take, being glutenized always throws my weight off for a few days) to go before I'm out of the 200s. I'm also staring right into the face of the holidays. I am glad that I am GF, because that will keep me from eating 90% of the crap that will be around. I feel like that will help tremendously, but I still need to be good. And if I'm seeing the weight come off like I have been in the last few weeks, that feeling will be a hundred times better than any stupid cookie I can't eat anyways.
So, if you are following me - feel free to send me a message or a text and keep me accountable. It helps me not take the day off, and to keep going on this whole journey. Lord (and Misty) knows I can't do this by myself yet. It's too easy to fall off the wagon. Damn wagon...
I also didn't run the 5k I said I was going to, either.
I didn't make the greatest food choices and even had a slight case of being "Glutenized" by some renegade soy sauce.
I had family pictures taken, and I was 3 lbs heavier than I should've been.
I know - I know. This is all, like, not the end of the world, but if I don't keep myself accountable, then who is?
I had a really weird week - full of distractions, full of emotions about it being the year anniversary of our house fire, full of friends and fun events, and somewhat full of wine (which I rarely drink a lot of anymore, to be honest). I love me some vino. I love drinking it with friends, and enjoying life like it should be. I like (gluten-free) dips and chips a LOT...and I love that my friends think about me when having me over and make sure I'm not eating something I shouldn't. I just can't let myself chow down even though its "safe" food. Overeater, much?
Honestly...I can't believe it's been a year since the fire. I'm not sure I could even put into words what that experience was like, and it almost feels like another life time ago. I'm sure my parents would beg to differ, though, but thank the Lord they were willing to have all 6 of us move in on a moments notice. I'm not sure if I even asked if that would be ok, but thanks Mom and Dad - you da bomb. That was pretty awesome of y'all. I barely remember Everett's 1st birthday, and you would think I'd be doing everything I could to make his 2nd so awesome, but..I'm kinda stuck on that, too. I have a week to get my act together, and so that means I pretty much have Saturday to figure it out if procrastination goes according to plan. Just keeping it real, people.
So, its a new week and I have the chance to start again on a fresh slate. I have signed up for the Turkey Trot and I WILL make that race, so it's time to get serious and train like I should. I'll be incorporating strength training a few days a week, and I love it. I'd lift weights over doing cardio any day, but I know I need to do the cardio to continue to lose weight. I have roughly 13 lbs (give or take, being glutenized always throws my weight off for a few days) to go before I'm out of the 200s. I'm also staring right into the face of the holidays. I am glad that I am GF, because that will keep me from eating 90% of the crap that will be around. I feel like that will help tremendously, but I still need to be good. And if I'm seeing the weight come off like I have been in the last few weeks, that feeling will be a hundred times better than any stupid cookie I can't eat anyways.
So, if you are following me - feel free to send me a message or a text and keep me accountable. It helps me not take the day off, and to keep going on this whole journey. Lord (and Misty) knows I can't do this by myself yet. It's too easy to fall off the wagon. Damn wagon...
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