Word of 2013 - FAITH

I know I say this every year, but I really can't believe another year has gone by.  I go back and forth between being totally ready and sad to see another one gone.  I always get nostalgic looking back at all that has happened, too.  I doesn't seem possible that this time last year, Sawyer was only 4 and Everett barely 1.  They seem so old now, and still so little all at the same time.

I have so much to be thankful for, as all of us do, and I won't bore you with lists of the usual suspects. I think we all know I'm so grateful for my family, friends, job and overall heath and "happyness" (I love that book).  It started off a trying year, but I really think we finished up strong.  I saw lots of friends, travelled to two cities I'd never been to, ran my 1st 5k (and my second, and walked my third - boo) and lost 30 pounds.    We celebrated 10 years of marriage with an amazing trip, and spent a lot of time together that I feel was quality time.  I watched my boys turn five and two, and am amazed by them every day.  Sawyer's personality is bigger and funnier every passing day, and Everett's seriousness is a lovely compliment to it.  They really balance each other out, and love each other fiercely.  I love watching them together, and I pray that they stay close over the years.

I guess what I'm most nervous about is starting my Whole 30 project in a few days.  I refuse to call it a diet, because that word always gets me into trouble.  I wish I could fast forward 30 days to see the transformation and feel the results, but just like everything else I have to do the work first.  It seems simple enough.  Eat clean foods.  Don't cheat.  Lose cravings/weight/food issues.  Feel better!  I know I will go through my honeymoon phase, the grumpy phase, the annoyed this won't end phase and then will hit my stride just as the 30 days are up.  I'm praying this will jump start my weight loss again, help me lose the 4 (or 5 or shit...6) pounds that have crept back on me during the holidays and maybe 10 or so more.  I've already got a jump start on the no grains since going GF, but it will be a real challenge for me to prep ahead and make sure I don't leave myself in compromising positions that lead to bad food choices.  I just pray this is the answer to my lingering digestive issues and gives me strength in my workouts.  I've had a nagging injury that I won't go into detail about because it's ridiculous and pisses me off, but I'm also hoping this will help that, too.

All of this brings me to my word of 2013 - Faith.  Faith has a lot of meaning to me.  It was my name before I was adopted.  It gives you something to hold on to when things are hard.  It's very definition is "complete trust or confidence in someone or something."  You just gotta have faith.  Whatever your belief system is, it has to be rooted in this very word.  James 1:3 says "because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance".  I have faith in myself to become a better person, wife, mother and friend.  I have faith that I can continue this journey of weight loss and self discovery.  I have faith that my support system will hold me up and keep me accountable when things go wrong or I don't want to work hard.  I have faith in love.  I have faith in God that he will forgive me when I screw up (again and again...and we all know, again).  Faith, Hope and Love - it is what it is all about.

So, that's it.  Bring it, 2013.  I don't have a clue what is in store for me, but I'm pumped to see what happens.

I raise my glass to you, my village.  Cheers!

Whomp whomp...

This post will be about the good, the bad and the ugly.

Good (Because it is nice to start positively):  I got an Ipad today!  Quite possibly the coolest thing since sliced bread.  I really do have the most ah-maz-ing boss, and am so thankful for everything he has done for me and my family this past year!  It's been a good one.

Good:  My mommy and daddy bought me the glass that goes in my cabinet doors for Christmas and they were installed Tuesday!  It looks great, and I love such a thoughtful gift.  It was a total oversight - I guess I just thought they "came" with glass and I never asked about it until way after we moved back home.  Turns out, you have to like pick that stuff out and whatnot, and I had NO idea.  Whoops!  Being the cheap ass that I can be, I just never got around to shopping for it.  Leave it to my mother to think of such a good gift!  She's the best.

Bad:  I think I have injured myself.  ouch.

Bad:  I don't wanna workout.  I want to sleep.

Ugly: me, trying on pants I was PROMISED would fit from this online boutique.  le sigh.  This is why I order nothing online.  waste.of.time.

Good (Ending strong, y'all!): My friends are all getting into town or are already here.  I love the holidays.  Tis the Season!!!!!

The Mayans were WRONG and other ramblings...

12-12-12 - this is a pretty cool day!  Almost as cool as 11-11-11, and 10-10-10!  Facebook tells me I'll never see another day numbered like this, so I'm trying to enjoy it as much as possible.

I love the holidays because everyone has parties and I get to see all my super awesome friends.  My friends can throw down like no other, and I think I still have the rum hangover to prove it.  I love all the food, drinks, crazy conversations and the new friends that come out of these gatherings.  Living the GF way has saved me on more than one occasion from eating stuff I shouldn't (which probably caused me to drink too much, but that is another story), giving me the first holiday season in awhile that I have yet to gain weight (fingers crossed).  However, I did let EVERYONE in a 20 yard radius know that I WANTED to eat the cupcake and and how NOT FAIR it was that I couldn't.  Misery loves company, duh.  Luckily, I have some super stellar friends that rock, and they hooked me up with some tasty GF treats that were perfect!  They also had cranberry rum and mixed with ginger ale, I may have found my new happy place/nemesis.

I'm sitting at 209 right now, and my hopes of breaking out of the 200s is slowly getting harder to attain before New Years Eve.  Sure, I could crash diet and eat air and drink water, but that sounds super lame so I'll just keep at my turtle pace and hope I lose all of this weight before I'm 40.  I'm about all out of pants that fit AGAIN, and yet I am having the hardest time purchasing more.  I also keep going to the fatty section of m'store (Target) and throwing things into my cart that is about 2-3 sizes too big without even thinking about it.  I had to go shop on the "other side" and checked the tag twice on the pants that I eventually bought because I wanted to make sure I didn't read it wrong.  It's a weird mind game, and I can only imagine how weird it will be when I lose another 30.  I'll be HS skinny and that thought alone blows.my.mind.

I guess that is it...oh wait...one more thing...

So, did I tell you about the time I almost did a 1/2 marathon with 4 days notice?  No?  Well, true story - that almost did happen.  I then began to think about the fact that I haven't ever even WALKED 13.1 miles, so maybe trying to run/walk them wouldn't be the best of ideas.  I had a dream that I ran the entire thing and woke up smiling...and from then on I have wanted that 13.1 sticker on my car.  So, looks like I'm going to buckle down and train this old lady butt to run for over two hours straight.  I woud like to do one in April or May, and I think that gives me enough time to properly train and prepare for the ridiculous amounts of running I'm about to do.  I don't see myself being a marathoner, and Dr. Cindy advised against me doing one, anyway (whew - valid excuse, thank you!), but I want that damn sticker. Who is this person???

Denial...not just a river in Egypt

Early Evening Ramblings:

When am I ever going to learn that being GF isn't just a passing fad for me?  I was making banana bread for the kids and decided to have a taste...or three...and almost instantly, I felt awful.  It's weird - the symptoms are similar, but can vary by intensity.  One of two things go down when I eat gluten.  I either feel like I'm getting the flu - all achy, head pounding, almost immediate loss of appetite or I get "glutenized" and blow up like the Blueberry Girl on Willy Wonka.  It also depends on what time of day it is, which I think is weird.  If I slip up early morning, I can usually make it through with no real issues.  If I eat something bad past say three or four p.m., it is game over.  Tonight, I was hit with the flu-like symptoms off of three bites of freaking banana bread.  I'm tired of trying to make sense of it all.  It gives me tired head.  I just need to get over it and quit testing it.

Whenever I get tired, cranky and think "what's the point" of this whole working out thing, I always get a message from someone random that inspires and motivates me to keep going.  Really strange...so, thanks, Village, you totes have my back on this.  :)  You might have to push that back (and ass) into the gym a few more times a week, but I'm glad you are there.

I'm a terrible gift-giver.  The pressure always gets to me and I always feel like it wasn't the right present, I didn't spend enough, etc.  I always get super excited when I find what I feel like is the "perfect" present for someone...and then freak out when I start thinking about their reaction.  Does anyone else do this?  I want to be "that" person so bad, the one that always has the perfect gift.  My friend Bethanye is so good at that.  You can say a very, very offhanded comment that means NOTHING at the time and somehow she can take that comment, store it in her brain, and then remember it for Christmas.  I account her not having children yet in having this ability.  Children take that part of your brain away while you are pregnant, and you never get it back.  EVER.

Speaking of children, my baby asked to go potty today and WENT!  I'm pretty sure that means I need to get on the potty-training bandwagon.  I'm positive I'm still recovering from post-traumatic stress potty training Sawyer, so I hope y'all will excuse my less-than-enthusiastic attitude towards this milestone.  I still can't get over the fact that I slipped and fell into a puddle of pee and busted my knee while training Sawyer.  And let's not forget the dinosaur turd/shit-splosion incident when I was on bed rest.  I just am not sure I have in me quite yet.

I've watched Puss n Boots 139 times and yet, I've never seen the whole movie.