My Weight Story

I was never an overweight kid.  I played sports year round, and pretty much looked like a boy in slicked back hair and Umbro shorts until I was in my mid-teens.  I graduated High School in 1999, and I weighed around 155.  I wore a 6-8 (10 maybe, depending on the brand) and honestly never gave it much thought.  I laughed at all the girls trying fad diets and Mini-Thin diet pills (Jessi Spano-style) and vowed to never be one of them.  I honestly thought I'd never have to care.

I chose to go to Stephen F. Austin for my Freshman year of college, and that is where the bad eating habits (like most young people) really started.  I had a meal plan through my dorm, but the only edible things were pizza and chicken tenders, so you can guess what my daily diet began to look like.  I had no option to keep anything heathy in my dorm (nor would I have, since my fridge was full of beer and there was no room) and slowly I began to pack on the pounds.  It was a rough year, one that ended with me skipping finals and driving home without telling anyone, and I definitely put on the Freshman 15.  This left me at around 175, which was still not bad but you could tell I'd had a hard time.

I spent a miserable semester at the local community college (which looked just like my High School inside, so that did not help my motivation), and I contemplated returning to SFA just because I hated A-town so bad.  Three weeks before I was to return to Nac, I met my husband.  I decided to stay here, convinced him to get back into school, and haven't left A-town since.  We call it home today.

When the hubby and I met, he weighed a buck fifty soaking wet, and he loved.to.eat.  Never good at being left out of anything, I decided to join him and plumped up quite nicely.  He saw past the chub and asked me to marry him at the ripe old age of 19, and we started planning our (my) dream wedding. I knew I didn't want to look like I did on my wedding day, so I began the first of many stupid diets I would do in the next decade.  To drop 40 pounds (and still not look that amazing, to be honest), I drank a Slim-Fast shake and ate two Lean Cuisine meals every day, and I worked out probably five to six times a week.  I drove my mother crazy because every time I put on my wedding dress, it needed to be altered.  I think she told me to cut it out because my alterations bills were more than we paid for the dress by the time I walked down the aisle that hot August in 2002.  I was young, in love and ready to settle into adulthood, even though I had no idea what that even really meant.

I'm pretty sure I packed on 20 pounds on our honeymoon(all inclusive - I wasn't missing a burger or drink), and over the next few years I settled into life around 190 or so.  We were broke, living off of Nabisco products since Sean got them for free and had a standing date for nachos and dollar beer every Tuesday night.  I couldn't cook a frozen pizza, and Sean thought vegetables were for weird people.  I can't think of a single healthy dinner we had while living at the Vanderbilt Apartments, but I do know we had some great times and I wouldn't trade them for the world.  Sean and I graduated college in December of 2004, and shortly thereafter decided we should buy a house.  I'm pretty sure we still had no idea what it meant to be grown up, but this sounded like the next logical step.

We bought our house, spent a year in corporate America and decided that we should have a baby.  We tried casually for six months, but nothing happened.  I was then laid off for the first time in my life, and found out we were expecting a few weeks later.  I coped with this news and lack of a job by eating everything I could get my hands on.  I didn't gain but a few pounds until I was six months along and exploded into full blown baby belly overnight.  It was a pretty uneventful pregnancy and in February 2007 we welcomed our first kiddo, Sawyer.  It was truly love at first sight.

At this time, I worked for a wine distributor and thought I had it all.  I drank all the gorgeous wines and ate all the amazing foods...and packed.it.on.  I had lost my baby weight pretty quickly, but it and more was added to my 5'6" frame at an alarming rate.  A busy job plus a child who didn't enjoy sleeping really left me with no motivation for working out and eating well.  It was survival mode at its worst.  I felt sluggish and horrible.  Looking back I didn't look very healthy, either.  I didn't know it was about to get way worse...

In 2008, Sean and I decided that we'd like to have another kid.  Since it was no big deal to get pregnant the last time, I didn't really expect it to be an issue but I was so very wrong.  After a year and 1/2 of trying and nothing happening (all the while still gaining weight) I switched doctors and was diagnosed with PCOS in the fall of 2009.  I felt like so many things were explained with this diagnosis, but I was still left with more questions and how to manage such a disease.  Project Get Knocked Up commenced and after more Clomid than one human should take and many procedures/tests/blood draws/horrible progesterone shots later we found out our second child was on their way in March of 2010.  Everett joined our family in November, and my heart doubled in size with my tiny tot now occupying it.

I left the hospital weighing 245.  I didn't care, I had the baby we longed for and I could lose weight again, right?  Wrong.

Shortly after having E, all of the typical PCOS symptoms started showing up.  Hair loss, horrible skin, facial hair - oh, and the crazy inability to lose weight.  I did drop the 32 lbs I gained pretty fast, but it was crazy how fast it came back on once I stopped nursing (around 4 months).  As soon as all the pregnancy hormones leveled out, a new hormonal hell began.  I gained almost 50 pounds in a year or so?  I was wearing XXL tops and 20-22 size pants.  It was horrible.  I saw pictures that Sawyer took when I wasn't paying attention I didn't even realize they were of me.  I didn't have any energy, I didn't want to play with my kids and forget wanting to have anything to do with being romantical in any way.  It won't dwell on it much longer, but when you see your scale register a number that was higher than when you went in to deliver a BABY that is crazy.  I had to do something.

In March 2012 I decided to get my shit together and it's been a hell of a roller coaster every since.  I've had emergency surgeries, car accidents, and most recently bulging discs sideline me but I refuse for it to keep me down.  My goal used to be 150, but now its just to become the best I can be regardless of a number on a scale.  I want to figure out my PCOS.  I want to play with my kids.  I want to look amazing in a bathing suit when we are in Hawaii.  I have big plans and hope to share them here if you'll let me.