I fell off the wagon, and it ran me over...

Testing, testing...1, 2, 3...

I guess this thing is still on.

Hi.

So, where were we?  Oh, yes...I think I was in the midst of 1/2 marathon training.  I guess I should catch y'all up on things.

Somewhere in between week three and four of training, I hit a wall.  Not one of those little ones that you can overcome with a little pep talk and some wine, but a full-blown, big ass wall.  I'd printed off my schedule and posted it on the wall in front of me at my desk, and every day I'd look at it really PISSED I had to run AGAIN.  It was hot, I was miserable and it took forever to run just three miles. So, I began to skip workouts.  I'd make the ones I'd do shorter and shorter, never breaking over four miles.  I just didn't have it in me.  I started going to bootcamp and used that as an excuse, that I was too tired to run after having my rear handed to me at 5am.  I just didn't want to do it.  So, I didn't.

I also went off my PCOS medication cold turkey, and I'm still on the fence if that was a good call or not.  A medication that typically helps PCOSers lose weight had me pack on ten pounds in just a few weeks.  I was so mad about that, too, because it takes me forever to lose even one pound.  It just wasn't fair.  I felt better, per se, but I was heavier.  I figured it was probably better to be off meds and lighter than medicated and heavier, so there you go.

Bootcamp was off last week, and I took advantage of sleeping in every morning.  I didn't go to the gym once.  As nice as it was to just not do anything, I can tell by my clothes and pictures that it's probably in my best interest to get my crap together so here I am...publicly stating that I am not going into the holidays fatter than I was last year.

I have lots of fun things planned this fall, and I want to enjoy them by feeling good about myself.  It has been hard juggling all the things I've gotten myself into, along with Sean's school and Sawyer's swim team commitments.  Every week flies by.  I know it will be the holidays soon, and I have 2 5ks I've signed up for and I haven't hit the pavement in a month.  This will be hard, but I can do hard things.  (that's what she said bhahaha)  I've got this.

There ya go, folks.  I hope to hear from you - all the cheers and support really helps me stay on course!
Happy Sunday, y'all! xoxo I'm off to bed soon so I won't die at 4:50am.  Just kidding...sort of...

1/2 Marathon Training - Week 2 (something clicked)

Week 2 - DONE!

I'm pretty sure this Hal Higdon dude is trying to kill me.

I won't lie - I pretty much did week 1 again.  Even though I'm following the "novice" plan, I'm more in tune with my body than I've ever been before and I was hurting.  Not "I'm gonna get over it" pain, but real "I'm gonna injure myself soon" pain.  I just kept wondering when it was going to stop hurting.  No pain, no gain is totally fine - but seriously, it was bad.  I spent a lot of time like this:

That's not really fun.

So, I decided to stop following the rules and I took Friday and Saturday off completely.  I think it was a really good decision.  Today was a great run, and I was 95% pain free through it all!  I did have to kinda limp through the finish because the stupid treadmill timer was set for 38 minute limit and it hit cool down before I was finished.  Just go ahead and mark that down as one more reason I freakin hate Fitness Connection.  I decided to only complete three miles today.  Here is today's time picture:

I feel like it would've been about 3 or so minutes faster had it not hit cool down, but whatever.  I was just happy to not limp off the treadmill for the first time!

Ooohh...so I found this really cool stretching machine today at the gym.  I also have Trainer Sean foam rolling my calves and shins as many times as I can convince him to.  I'm also going to try out some compression sleeves that my sweet friend was kind enough to let me borrow.  I'm determined to figure this out, however many bags of frozen edamame it takes!

1/2 Marathon Training - Week 1

Week 1 is in the books, and it was rough.

I wondered why I was doing this approximately 29,209 times, and every time I came up with the same answer - I just want to say that I did it.  If we are being honest, I'd like that sticker for my car, too.

Is that enough to carry me through 13.1 miles of potential hell?  Sure hope so!  Apparently, that's all I've got for now hahaha.

For those of you curious, I've been following Hal Higdon's Novice 1 Half Marathon Training program. I honestly have no clue who the dude is, and why everyone I asked gave me his program to follow - but, since that is what happened I'm rolling with it.  Monday and Tuesday went GREAT.  Beastmode in the gym, clean eating, lots of water, excellent time on my 3 miler.  I was so like "I got this" that it wasn't even funny.  Annnnddd....then, the shit started hitting the fan.

Our (semi-new) fridge started crapping out on us, and we tried everything we could to fix it on our own.  Cleaning it out, defrosting and airing out didn't fix the problem, so a GE specialist had to pay us a visit.  Lucky us.  Then, as I was getting ready for work on Thursday, a plug caught fire.  If I ever questioned having Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, I no longer wonder and should probably seek therapy.  The smell along made me lose it.  So very lucky for us that I was home, had great advice to flip the breaker (in the midst of my panic attack), and quickly was visited by one of RJ's electricians (also nice knowing the right people) and he changed it out for me and made me feel safe.  Short of wanting him to rewire out house again, I still feel uneasy with things and haven't slept well thinking about the "what-if's" again.  If any of you have suffered from a fire, you understand what I'm talking about.  It's the worst.

So, with all of that excitement, I still needed to complete another 3 mile run and hopefully clear out my head.  Unfortunately, I decided to do this at 5:15 and probably gave myself heatstroke and felt terrible.  I rested Friday with many thoughts of quitting while I was ahead.  I'm pretty sure Sean thinks I'm crazy for doing this, and I'm not too far behind him in this thinking at any given point.

I got to the gym today, not in the mood and really wishing I was in bed watching more episodes of "Orange is the New Black" (um, such a great series!).  I was in the zone, trying to psych myself up and also trying to find the appropriate "Friday Night Lights" episode I'd been watching, and I heard "Jennifer!  Jennifer!"  Weird.  No one ever calls me that...unless we know each other from High School.  Which, technically, this person and I didn't but...close enough.  I'll leave it with last I heard this person was not my biggest fan, so the fact that they made sure to say hello and ask how I was doing 100% caught me by surprise.  I was so off guard by it that I couldn't get my thinking straight, and cashed out at two miles and sore shins.  I know I should've gone back and done another two this evening, but I just don't have it in me.  I'll let it be.  Start fresh in the morning.

I won't let this Debbie Downer of a post continue on much longer.  I will end on a positive note, and it involves many of my friends that have become my Challenge Buddies.  I truly am so proud and motivated by you all.  It really takes a LOT to commit to something and change your body and your life.  Whatever the path is that you choose, it is a big deal and I love all the emails and texts I've been getting about the positive things happening in your lives.  When I don't want to walk the talk I've been yammering about, I always get an uplifting message that makes me realize that it's going to be ok.  So, CB's, thank you.  You rock.  :)

90 Day Challenge - The First 30 Days

Hi Friends!

I hope you all had a wonderful 4th of July weekend!  I know I did!  It was spent with lots of wonderful friends and was topped off by a family trip to the ranch.  I love having a place to spend time with the kids that isn't four hours away!  It's always a fun getaway.

Not the greatest pic, but the only one I have really from the 4th and it's stolen from P's facebook 

A lot of y'all have been asking me how my challenge has been going, so I thought a little update was in order.  (i'm sorry I haven't been updating my challenge timeline.  I really like that tool, but it's just been a bit nuts and getting on the computer after a long day is just about the last thing I've wanted to do most nights.)

I'm down around 4lbs (yay!) and a dress size!  The super cute dress I wore to the NKOTB concert was a size large and NOTHING I would've ever tried on 10 lbs ago.  I really felt pretty and confident even without m'spray tan on!  Stephanie was on vacation, and I refuse to tan with anyone else.  I'm spoiled.

Anyhoo - I've been pretty steady about drinking two shakes a day.  I updated via Instagram the other day joking how I do still eat food - but I do!  What works for me is a breakfast shake, snack, lunch, another snack, dinner shake with fruit.  It's been a lot easier for me to use that schedule because our evenings tend to be crazier than ever now that Sawyer is on a swim team, and by the time I get back from sitting in a muggy indoor pool area the last thing I want to do is make dinner.  Sean usually whips something up for the boys and I get a minute to relax.  Win/Win.

My strength training has increased, too.  I'm lifting about 10 lbs heavier all the way around than I was when I began, and I'm seeing some definition in my arms finally.  I did tweak my back pretty good doing 60lbs on the row machine, so I think I'll be skipping that for a few weeks (thanks, Becky, for fixing me up today!).  Ab workouts are getting a little less awful to do, and I feel like my leftover baby belly is getting a little more in check.  All in all, I'm seeing results, my energy is up and I feel great.  Go me!

So, in true Jenn form, I've decided to take on one more thing.  That would be the 1/2 Marathon training I've been putting off doing for oooohhhh, about 6 months now.  I thought about keeping it on the DL, but since it's been on the DL the last 6 months and obviously I haven't done anything - I guess it's best to go public with it and make myself accountable to the world.  Now....this is going to be probably the hardest thing I've ever done.  The only good thing I can think about is the fact that once this is over I can go buy my 13.1 sticker.  I'm really nervous about how this will go, and honestly hope the runner's high that you get after a race is worth all the sweat and tears I'm sure I'll shed the next few months.  I've decided to the Honored Hero 1/2 on October 20th.  I know the course, and besides the ridiculous hill at the end, it is pretty flat.  Flat is good.  I also have a dear friend that said she'd run it with me, so I'll have company during my misery.  :)  So, there you have it, village!  Here goes nothing!

I hope you all have a great week, and remember to be kind to yourself.  If you skipped workouts or slipped on eating healthy over the holiday, tomorrow is a new day!  I know I'll be working off a few cider beers, myself! :)  Cheers!

(If you want to learn more about m'shakes - http://jennhutcherson.myvi.net OR hit me up and let me know if you have any questions!  Shake and Bake II is July 16th, come on by if you are local!)

I bought a new swim suit. It doesn't have a skirt. This is a big deal.

Sunday was a great day.  I'll need to back track, however, just a bit, before I can explain why.

We went to the lake a couple of weekends ago, and since we hadn't spent any time at the pool, I hadn't made my yearly trek to Target for what I call "The Most Depressing Shopping Trip Ever."  We usually live in the pool, and cheap suits from Target usually only last a year.  My suit from last year was nothing short of a swim muu-muu.  It had a lot of letters in the size.  It was ugly.

I'd kind of forgotten about all of that, really, until it was time to pack for the lake.  I tried it on before we left and laughed because it was huge.  It was also much uglier than I remembered it being, so I feel really sorry for anyone that spent time with me at the pool last year.  I must have looked like Michelle Duggar (no offense) in her one piece modesty suit, but a hundred times worse.  However, I was SOL on getting a new one before the lake since I didn't discover this information until about 10 pm the night before and I knew I would have no time the following day to torture myself with suit buying.  So off me and my ginormous suit went, and we had a grand ole' time.  I only almost lost my bottoms two times.  Victory.

So, fast forward to last Sunday.  Mom offered to let me try on the new suit she'd just bought to see what I thought, and I pretty much just didn't want to deal with the emotions.  I have a long history of thinking something is going to fit and it ends up looking like shit, so I really felt like this was going to be another one of those moments.  However, I did remember how badly I needed to get a new suit, so I went ahead and tried it since at least it wasn't in the horrid dressing rooms of Target and if it got really bad, I knew where they kept the liquor.

It fit.

Actually, it was a little big on top!   I promptly decided that I should carpe diem and head to Target immediately to find one similar, but in a different color, so I could swim in something that stood a chance of staying on while swimming with two crazy kids.  I found a tankini that I love, and most fun part is - it doesn't have a skirt!  I look decent in a bathing suit without a skirt!  Now, there are plenty of really cute tiny bikinis that have skirts...please realize what I had last year did NOT fall into that category.  I happen to think the skirts are cute, but not when they are in a size 22.  It's just a huge milestone for me since that is my most self conscience area.  Thanks, babies.  :)

As we were leaving, I saw a bathing suit I'd been eyeing since early May.  A friend of mine owns it, and she looks adorable in it.  So, naturally, I thought it would be adorable on me, too.   Not so much.  Last time I tried it on, I laughed and cried at my image in the mirror.  It was bad.  Six weeks and serious 90 Day Challenge actions later - that pink suit came home with me, too.  I can't even tell you how long its been since I could find TWO bathing suits I liked, at the same time.

So while I haven't lost oodles of pounds (yet), I am losing inches.  A lot of them.  I am already down an inch in my waist, arms and thighs.  I'll take it, and run all the way to Target's bathing suit section with it! :)

Here's a pic of my new suits!

Walk the Talk

Hi Friends!

This past weekend, we took what was pretty much a spontaneous (for us, these days) trip to the lake with another family from Sawyer's old school.  Long story short, it was just what this old girl needed.  Sun, family time, a boat and lots and lots of laughing!  I was especially proud of E for swimming in the lake when I knew he was scared to at first.   That big body of water has to be really overwhelming to a two year old, and he was a champ the whole time.  It probably didn't hurt that Ms. V had a CARS float with Ka-Chow (Lightening) on it, either.  I was just glad we could all go have fun together!

I have put off buying a new swimsuit this year mainly because they are UGLY.  I have not seen a decent looking one that came in my size (Whatever that may be these days), and that didn't resemble a swim muu-muu.  Funny how things have changed since last summer - I wanted to be covered up completely.  I probably would have bought one of those swim dresses the Duggars if they were sold at Target.  I've tried on a few things recently, but haven't found one I loved.  Even when ginormous, we do tend to spend a lot of time at the pool.  Thankfully, that is normally at my parents house, so at least the Shamu Show was private in years past.  I kid, I kid...anywho!  My procrastination/indecisiveness lead me to having to wear my old one from last year....and laugh when I put it on.  It was HUGE.  It looked so stupid!  It was a good reminder that while I may be far from my ultimate goal, I've still come a long way and that I need to keep going.  And to also burn that stupid suit.  And suck it up and find a new one.  So much pressure!

I didn't want to workout today at all.  It was raining, I was tired and really sore from water skiing.  I was a little pissed that all the weight I'd lost was back from drinking wine this weekend.  I was talking with a friend, getting her set on a date to start her own personal challenge (Go Team Healthy Mom!), and she was like "Well, I know you'll get back on track."  Um...crap.  You mean...I can't just be lazy?  I can't very well self appoint myself as someone's accountability partner IF I am not being accountable myself, can I?  So...I texted a friend and headed to a strength training class this evening.  I'm pretty sure this will fall under "Dumb Ideas" because I'm already in pain, but I am glad I did it.  I'm always glad after working out.

So, lesson is...if you are going to preach something, you better have lots of practice to back it up.  I went to practice today, friends.  I'll be back tomorrow!  xoxo

Body by ME (and Vi)

Hi Friends!

I hope you are having a wonderful week!  I hosted my first ever SHAKE AND BAKE, and boy was it fun!  I wasn't sure what to expect for my first challenge party...if anyone was even going to show...and ultimately, like the shakes, too.  Thankfully, my girls came out in full force and I think everyone really enjoyed themselves!  Stephanie outdid herself with her Beach Bronzed tanning services, and we've decided to host another Shake and Bake in July!  I think we are going to do some fun giveaways and run a contest, so if you are in the area stay tuned!  I want this party to be even bigger and more fun!

I want to take this opportunity to address a few things that came up last night, and clear up a few questions I've been asked.  I preface this by saying, please feel free to message/text/call/carrier pigeon me any questions that I don't address here that you'd like to know.  We all know I'm rather open!

1. Are you seriously only drinking shakes?  Hi.  My name is Jenn.  I love food and would NEVER sign up for or last on a program that required me to only drink shakes.  I actually tried that type of diet in college and lasted approximately 6 hours before I was sneaking food.  Shakes and eating food, however, tend to work really well for me.  I am drinking two shakes a day:  always one for breakfast, and having the other for dinner most nights.  The only exception is when I have a heavy lifting day, and I then use my 2nd shake as a recovery drink.  I typically eat lunch (salad with chicken, etc) and snack throughout the day.  I never, ever feel hungry.  
2. Is this shake magic?  Nope.  I wish it were that easy, but you still have to put in the work just like anything else that is worth having.  I feel like ViSalus is a great tool that fits well in my life, and I love that the shakes work with my life instead of me trying to work them in.  I will say that I have noticed my workouts becoming better and better, and in the last few weeks I've really bumped up the amount of weight I'm lifting in my exercises.  I still suck at running, but I don't think that is the shake's fault.
3. Will I have support throughout my Challenge and life with Vi?  If you sign up through me, you will not walk this alone.  I said it many times last night, I lovelovelove helping and motivating people.  I know what it feels like to see pictures and be like "who is that?"  I know how frustrating it can be to have a full closet of clothes that just don't fit.  I was lucky to have had some really awesome friends step in and help pull me out of the funk and into the light - and if I get the chance to pay that kindness forward, I consider this all a success.  I needed gentle nudges (ok, shoves) along the way, and if this can be the one to get you to finally make the decision to live the life you want to live, then let me know.  I'm so here to help.  
4. Why did you choose Vi?  This is a pretty easy one.  I really love the products.  I use them daily.  I've seen and am seeing results.  I have the best team a girl could ask for, and support whenever I need it.  Heck, my friend Katie came all the way down from Allen just to help me last night.  You are only as strong as your weakest link, and being the newbie I am I am so appreciative for all of the tools and helping hands.  
5. I want to be a promoter, but I'm worried about the cost.  I feel ya.  I was scared, too.  It is a huge commitment, but I don't regret it one bit.  If you want to learn more about the business side, let me know.  I will get you on the phone with my mentor (the same guy I talked to for over an hour and hammered him with an excessive amount of questions) and he can explain it better than I could ever dream of doing.  I will say the Vi Team doesn't leave new people hanging, and I have never once felt alone.  I've been checked on numerous times by all sorts of successful people all the way up.  I look forward to a long life of promoting!  Sean is even getting into it, listening in to my conference calls and asking questions, too.  It's become quite the family affair!

I think that covers most things that came up.  Like I said, this adventure has just begun but I'm already so excited about the changes that are happening.  I've officially gotten too small for all of my fat clothes.  No going back, friends!

Please check out Jenn's Vi Page and order your kit now!  Just do it!  Get started!  What are you waiting for????

See the Art in Me

Hi Friends.

That's E's new thing, by the way, to say that.  I really adore it.  He doesn't say much, still, but when he does it's extra special and precious!

Sawyer and I attended a special wedding this past weekend.  At Sawyer's old school (sigh...hard to type that), he attended the after school program every day that is watched over by a really great group of college-aged kids.  One in particular, Lindsey, became Sawyer's favorite and we've welcomed her into our family because who wouldn't want a sweet girl like that around?  Sawyer was so sad when she moved back home, but she did a great job about paying visits to PCA when she was here.  I was so surprised and happy when we got her wedding invitation, and Sawyer started his countdown to "Ms. Lindsey's Party".

Well, that sweet girl married her sweet boy on Saturday...and I cried.  Anyone that knows me, knows that I have a serious issue with outright religious movements and moments.  For me, religion is a seriously private affair.  What I believe in has nothing to do with anyone else, and how I worship is between me and the Big Guy.  I will say this, though, that on Saturday you could just feel God looking down.  Not in a overwhelmingly big event type of way, but very serene and just peacefully.  I've been to many weddings, many of which are huge, lovely productions with bands, fireworks and a photobooth to be silly in.  I love those weddings, because they are great parties.  Jennjilla loves her a great party.  I guess I just really loved this wedding because while you could tell they paid attention to details (hello, chevron printed burlap ribbon - adorable), you could really tell they were there to celebrate their love and their shared love for God.  I love that they asked in several different ways for advice and words of encouragement.  It was a special day, and Sawyer thought he was SOOO cool because he was the only kid from ASC to be invited.  He was the perfect date and we had fun eating cake and drinking lemonade out of "jars like Nene has".  He's a good kid.  I love spending one-on-one time with him.

I just wrapped up my first week of my 90 Day Challenge, and it's going great!  I love sharing my passion.  It's been really fun for me to gain Challenge Buddies (Hey, girls, Hey!) and I have really enjoyed trying out new recipes to keep my shakes anything but boring.  I am down 2 pounds, which is pretty huge.  I never lose actual weight.  My clothes fit better, sure, but it's nice to see movement on the number (even though that stupid number doesn't define me).  I'm hosting my first Challenge Party tomorrow, so that will be fun, too.  I've teamed up with my spray-tan lady, Stephanie, and we are throwing a Shake and Bake Party!  Personally, I think it's like..the most fun sounding thing ever!  I'm really excited to share our products with our friends!  I really took a chance with ViSalus, but I don't regret it one bit.  I have an awesome team who is nothing but supportive and encouraging, and it's just been a lot of fun to get behind something that helps so many people achieve their goals.  I hope in the coming weeks I become one of those people, too!  I know I can, and I'm ready for the challenge.  :)  Shake and Bake!

Major

Eek!

I've been nominated for my first blog award!  I didn't know they HAD blog awards (I know, I'm a little slow), but I've very excited my new blog-friend Amy at Getz Girl On Fire thought of me! :)  This award is for up and coming blogs that have less than 200 followers.  I'm pretty sure I have more than there are showing, but anywho - I love meeting new people so thanks, Amy!

So, I'm supposed to first tell 11 random facts about me.  This stuff always gets me.  Let me think...

1. I'm adopted.  Is that even random?
2. I hate cats.
3.  I have freckles in the shape of a triangle on my leg.
4.  I out-beerbonged the OSU offensive line when I was in Padre for Spring Break 2000.  Yup.  Super proud moment there!
5.  I tried out for the high school musical and didn't make it.  It may have something to do with the fact that I'm tone deaf.
6.  Along that same note, I don't actually know lyrics to many songs - I find it easier to just make them up.  Maybe Mariah Carey doesn't know her songs that well, I will show her the way.
7.  I tried to save my cousin when he fell in the lake, and almost drowned us both.  Thank goodness my parents were paying attention.  Sorry John Thomas.
8.  I played soccer for years, only to quit when it was time to get college scholarships.  Sorry mom and dad.
9.  One time, on a work-with with a supplier when I was a wine rep, the supplier got HAMMERED and passed out in my car.  Instead of going to most of our appointments, I just drove around and let him sleep.  It was better than him yelling at my buyers - which had happened earlier in the day.  He made a poor, sweet Asian lady cry.  He was a real dick.
10.  I seriously have issues with claustrophobia.  I almost lost it on a bus a few weeks ago.
11.  I'm a hugger.  I think life is better when you give hugs.  :)

And now I am supposed to answer questions Amy listed!

1. Which do you prefer - cardio, weights or yoga?  For me, I prefer weights.  Yoga second.  Cardio third.  Unless it's Zumba.  Then that's pretty high up there.  Crap.  I kinda like them all.  Who is this person?
2. What is your favorite movie of all time?  Pulp Fiction.  Is that strange?
3. If you could pick a super power, which would you choose?  My husband is sleeping so I can't ask him about all the different super powers, but I'd like to be able to beam myself places.  I have a lot of friends that don't live close, and it would be really sweet if I could just pop over to California or NY.
4. Name an item on your bucket list!  Europe.  I want to visit Europe.  Like, the whole thing.  haha
5. Why did you originally start blogging?  I want to help people, and to show them that they are not alone.  I also wanted to prove to myself that I could do this whole weight-loss thing and keep a diary of sorts to chart my progress.  There have been a few people that have inspired me to be a better person in many ways, and I hope that I can be that person for whomever, too!  
6. What was your first car?  Madza MX-6  
7. Which do you prefer - beer, wine or cocktails?  Can't drink beer, so that's out.  Wine or whisky...those are m'favs
8. What would I choose for my last meal?  My mommy's gumbo...followed by her blackberry sour cream pie...and maybe a slice of her fruit pizza, just for shits and grins.  I'm gonna die, so who cares!
9. Are you a dog or cat person?  Well, I already told you I hate cats, so there is that answer.  I like dogs, but I don't care for the fur.  It's so gross.
10. What is your favorite season and why?  I love Spring, because the clothes are cute and bright and cheerful and so are all the flowers!  

Check back for blogs that I nominate!  Most blogs I follow already have a ton of followers so I'll have to do some digging!  

Shake and Bake, baby!

I have been overwhelmed by the amount of love and support I was given after people read my last post.

Thank you.

I have had a few people privately message me about Vi shakes, the challenge, and other questions.  Please continue to do so!  My door is always open, and I think we all know that I'm very candid about my little adventure.  :)  I'm happy to answer any question.

I'll be throwing my first Challenge Party on the 11th, and I'm so excited about it!  Being the creative genius that I am (haha), I want to do something totally different than what other people do.  We all tend to cringe when people mention these types of "parties".  I love my friends and want them to be excited with me, so I came up with the theme "Shake and Bake" to try and make it interesting!  I'm inviting my buddies to come learn about the Challenge, try some shakes and then give them the opportunity to get a spray tan by Beach Bronzed Mobile Tanning!!  Hence, the (fake) bake part!  haha  Beach Bronzed is owned by my dear friend, Stephanie Torres, and I am so happy to support her in her new business venture.  She is the hardest working mom and wife, and she does a great job and always makes sure you are happy with your tan.  I've used her several times and have loved the outcome each time!  I'm usually a pretty decent shade of eggshell, but she's gotten me pretty dark.  Life really is better with a tan!

I thought long and hard before becoming a promotor for Visalus, but I truly love the product and believe in the company so here we go!  I have a great group of people helping me along the way and I look forward to seeing how much I transform in the next 90 days!  If you are in the A-town area, and would like to swing by - let me know!  I'd love for you to come Shake and Bake with us!

90 Day Challenge - Go Big or Go Home.

Hi Village,

First of all - thank you so much for the love and support you have given me in the past year.  I know 100% that I wouldn't have gotten to where I am without it.  You are the best.

With that said, I'm happy to announce the next thing I need you for - the biggest and baddest challenge yet!  Let me show you first where I have been...and then I'll tell you where I'm going!

WHERE I'VE BEEN:

That was me on November 11, 2010.  I was hours away from delivering my second baby, and I think I was tipping the scales at 257.  That was the last recorded weight I know of, anyway.  Everett was only seven pounds, three ounces of that mess, so I had my work cut out for me.  We had been through so much trying to get pregnant and then stay pregnant.  Emotionally and physically, I was drained to the core. I had spent the last nine weeks on bed rest, had a 3 year old that had his tonsils and adenoids removed during that time and was having contractions all day, every day.  It was rough, but I'd do it again to get my sweet Everett Gray.  He's worth every ounce of that weight.

This was me, roughly a year later.  Minus the big belly, I was still big.  That was a XXL sweater, size 20 jeans and extra wide calf boots I was barely able to squeeze into.  I had changed jobs, spent the better portion of my life on 635 driving and ate out breakfast and lunch.  I worked out once a month, and vegetables were typically garnishes on my plate and not something I actually ate.  I was miserable.  I had zero energy.  My hormones were still going crazy and I was just puffy all over.  To top it all off, about two weeks after these pictures were taken, our house caught fire and we were displaced for three months.  The will to be healthy was not there.  Not one smidgen.  I continued down this path for a good three months, climbing the scales AGAIN and hitting near 250.  It was insane how quickly the weight was gained, but since I'm one of "those girls" that holds their weight well (whatever that means), it was hard to tell until I hit rock bottom.  When your clothes resemble maternity clothes, but you aren't pregnant...it's time for a change.

So, friends...that's what I came from.  Just call me Large Marge.  It makes me sad to look at pictures, or really the lack thereof, during that time because I just didn't like myself.  So I had to do something.  Thank goodness I had all of you to help me along the way!

One of the biggest changes I have made during this whole experience is nutrition.  My thinking towards food and what I put in my body has changed 110%.  Breakfast continues to be the biggest challenge for me, and after many trials what I have found that works best is the Visalus Vi-Shape shake.  I'm huge about texture, and this shake has none of the grittiness that some of the other shakes has.  It also has a really nice flavor that mixes well with all sorts of fruits, and also completely hides the spinach and kale tastes when I mix those in, too.  A few tidbits about the shake that I found interesting are:

• It's Gluten-Free - a HUGE plus in my book.  All other shakes I tried tore up my digestive system.  I truly need a GF solution, and I have been drinking these daily since March and have not had one issue.
• It's made with less than 1g of sugar - for someone who has PCOS and has a body that acts like a diabetic, this was a huge selling point for me, too.  It's also lower in sodium and fat that most other shakes on the market, too.
• Made with Non-GMO soy - this is a big deal, too.  I don't need soy messing with my estrogen levels (since they, along with everything else, are already a mess).
• It works for everyone -  young, old, overweight, underweight and everything in between!  I love that Sean's grandma can try this shake and my workout buddies can, too!  It's a good fit in any diet.

I also use this shake as a post-workout supplement, and over the course of two months I have lost body fat and gained lean muscle in its place.  There isn't a day that goes by that I don't have a shake.  It's just part of my life now, and if I skip it I can tell.  I also tend to make bad choices, food-wise, when I don't start my day with one.  It has really helped keep my food on track, and recover from my workouts strong and ready for the next day's.

WHERE I'M GOING:

This is me today - 210lbs, but leaner than I've been in years.  I workout 4-6 times a week, and I'm wearing mostly 14-16s, depending on their cut (or if they are from Target.  Target, your sizing sucks).  Most everything in my closet is too big.  The dress I'm wearing above was the one I wore for our 10th anniversary last year, and had to wear heavy duty Spanx to squeeze into it.  I'm happy to say that in this heat, no Spanx will be necessary this year!  

So, long story short: I need your help - and this is a big one!  I'm turning 32 on September 1st, and I have decided to do the Visalus 90 Day Challenge to get me to my goals so I can start this next year of my life in the best shape I've been in since High School.  My Goals are as follows:

1. Break through my weight plateau and lose 20 lbs - finally hitting my original goal weight of 190 and getting out of these stupid 200s.
2. Lose inches on my belly and arms, my two trouble areas (I will take measurements this week) 
3. Benchpress 75 lbs, because I want to be a hoss.
4. Not die doing ab work (this is a general goal, just ask my trainer how bad I suck at ab work haha)
5. Have friends join me!!

Here is my website, http://jennhutcherson.bodybyvi.com/ - please take a look!  I know that I do my best when I have support around me, and I'm looking for friends and family to join me in this latest shenanigan I've decided to get myself into.  I will be hosting a Challenge Party soon, too, so please let me know if you'd like to come try out the shakes for yourself.  I know I was hesitant before I did, but I quickly fell in love and here we are! (If you don't live in the area, just let me know if you'd like a sample.  I'm happy to mail you one!)

Thank you again for your love and support.  All the texts, emails and messages really help keep me going!  I truly do have the best village!!

 

I'll try anything...once.

I've been at a plateau weight and motivation wise for some time now.

It's so frustrating.

Part of me wants to give up and say "Hey, where you are isn't so bad and it's not 45 pounds heavier, so just chill here."  The other part is PISSED that I haven't reached certain goals that I previously set and is ready to freakin get the show on the road.

So, while the first part is moaning and complaining, my other half sent a shout out on Facebook about other workout options.  It is no lie that I hate my current gym.  I mean, it's never done anything to me personally, but I just really don't like to go.  I've visited other gyms and even came close to buying a membership somewhere else, but it just didn't feel right.

An old high school buddy, one that has known me since my Umbro-shorts wearing days, invited me to come try a class at the dance studio she goes to 6 times a week (no lie.  Like, she's there a whole lot), and at first I was like...ehhhhh.  Dance class?  In Grand Prairie?  Where is she trying to take me, what are we going to be doing, is this a good (read, safe) idea?  But, the good thing about knowing J so long is that I know she wouldn't waste her time going somewhere that sucks.  Plus, she's lookin' pretty hot these days, too, so I figured what the hell.  Maybe I should step out of my old comfort zone and try something new.  I sent her a message and asked if she was going to workout on Saturday (today), and she replied yes - AND that she attends two classes back to back while there.

Um.

What?

I didn't want to sound like a wimp, but I seriously was like I'm going to die trying to struggle through two classes.  Anyone that's ever done one serious class knows how hard that can be, and I was signing up for two?  She offered to pick me up, and even let me use one of her punches, so I agreed and said see you in the A.M.

As luck would have it, E decided that last night would be an awesome night to scare the shit out of his mother and have this weird asthma-like breathing nightmare attack at 11:30 pm, keeping us up until close to 1:30 after we got doctors orders and breathing treatments underway.  I also woke up two other times to check and make sure he was still breathing, so I'm pretty sure I had about a grand total of zero hours of sleep.  It was like having a newborn all over again (which is the reason we don't HAVE one of those anymore) and I was dragging ass in a serious way this morning.  I thought about bailing at least 939202 times last night, but I figured it wouldn't do me any good laying around here so I didn't.

I'm really glad I went to class.

Long story short, we did a strength training/cardio mix class and then I got to try Zumba for the first time afterwards.  Um, I seriously love Zumba.  I am by far the worse one in there, and every ounce of my white-girl dancing skillz were out in full force, but it was the most fun I've had working out in a long time.  So much so, that I went and bought 20 classes immediately after we were done!  I was drenched, I had jelly legs and I was so happy to have burned like 600+ calories shaking my thang.  The energy in that class was amazing, and everyone was there to have fun and not take things seriously.  There was also a 29 month pregnant instructor who I felt like was going to pop her water at any given moment, so there was that to keep me entertained, too.  I think I was mostly jealous that she was still moving and grooving that far along in her pregnancy.  Her kiddo will come out dancing for sure.

So, moral of this story is to always try something new.  Seriously, every time I am scared to do it and then finally do - I love it, and want to do more of it.  I feel at some point I will learn that lesson and waste a little less time with things, but for now I'm thankful for a friend that offered me a new opportunity.

Break Away

I need a change of pace.

My motivation has gone with the cool weather - and I am finding it difficult to bring it back to where it used to be.

A year ago, when I started this weight loss journey, I signed up at the local big box gym that only costs $10 a month.  I love a deal. I didn't love working out.  It was a pretty good fit, so I signed up and off I went.  At first it was fine - clean, empty, and I didn't mind going.  I wasn't even sure I would stay the course, so I wasn't looking for a huge financial commitment that would go down the drain anyway.  Turns out I like working out, and go 3-5 a week, depending on schedules.

Everything was going swell, and then they ran a promotion to drum up more business.  Something along the lines of "Bring your mother, friend, dog, sister wife - whoever you can find to fill this place and we will give you a free puppy".  All of a sudden, my empty gym was full of people.  And, if we are being honest, not exactly people that make me want to workout more.

Almost overnight the population of this gym changed.

Away went the people that looked like this:

and in its place are gems like this:

And that is just the dude population.  The ladies are a whole other situation.  I would say about 90% of them are there for the free childcare they offer.  I get it.  If I had 9 children under the age of 10 and could get a break every day by only paying $10 bucks a month, I'd probably do the same thing.  I'd also probably try and get off food stamps, too, but that is a whole other story.

So, while I'm applauding these people for at least trying to do something better for themselves (or at least convince themselves of that), I'm tired of seeing them.  They do not make me want to kick ass in the gym.  They make me want to eat Cheetos and watch my stories.  I am not saying that I am better than them. I just want to be around more people who are there for the same reasons I am there.  I'd also like a gym that doesn't hide the damn foam rollers from people and lock up their med balls.  I'm pretty sure I'm the least of their concern for people who steal shit.

This conundrum leaves me with a few options:

Crossfit: Not.Going.To.Happen.  This is said for two reasons.  The morning classes are at 5am and 6am.  Have any of y'all seen me function at either one of those un-godly hours?  I didn't think so.  This also won't work since the afternoon classes are at 5pm and 6pm.  Yea....can't do that either, especially when Sean is in school.

Pure Barre:  Who can afford this?  I am tempted to buy the new member pass for $100, but the $220/month or whatever they have going will not work for this budget.

Texas Fitt:  This is a family/locally owned little gym.  I took a tour today, and it is quiet and clean.  They have nice equipment.  I went to HS with the owner.  It is in between Sawyer's school and my work.  What I don't like is paying extra for classes.  I don't attend classes now at Crappy Connection because they are full of the aforementioned "work out ladies", but when I worked out at 24hr a million years ago I loved doing them.  I'm not sure how they would fit into my world right now, but being cheap I hate to think of paying extra.

24hr Fitness: Sigh.  I don't want to go here.

So, what should I do?  I think I need to do something different.  I'm not getting any thinner...

Jake and Holly's Finish the Sentence

I love finishing the sentences linkup's - it always gives me something new to think about!  Here is the latest from Jake and Holly!

1.  Unlike my sibling...I don't suck at life.

2.  My Best Friend says...that I always tell it how it is, even when she doesn't want me to.  I've mellowed out in my old age, though.  She also would probably say that I'm pretty awesome at getting her into trouble, but that is nothing new.  We've been causing drama together since the mid 90's.  :)

3.  People call me...maybe?  Sorry.  I couldn't help it.  Anyway, most people call me Jenn.  My nickname is Jennjilla, which came from owning a chinchilla as a pet in college (Nicole the chinchilla lived at my parents home, and was electrocuted when our house was hit by lightening since she was inside a metal cage.  She went batshit crazy and chewed off her own tail.  I can't make this stuff up).  It kind of stuck and is now my screen name for everything.

4.  I most often dream...about stressful situations.  I work a lot of stuff out in my dreams, and then it's a lot better in real life.  I also get to say things to certain people in my dreams that I want to in real life, but can't since that would be rude.  Granted, push me enough...I'll just say it anyway.  :)  I'm super charming that way!

5.  The best part of my day...is totally when I get to see my boys after school!  I love Sawyer telling me all about his super exciting day, and E's toddler run while screaming "Momma"!

6.  I don't really understand...why my son thinks it is cool to pee in my bed and not tell me.  Not cool, little dude, not cool.

7.  I get really annoyed...when I can't find something I'm looking for.  This may have something to do with my life being in a state of constant chaose, but I'm not sure.  All I know is that I can't have anyone touching my piles.

8.  There's nothing like...getting into bed made with clean sheets.  Getting to watch a tv show of my choice while in said bed is a bonus!

9.  Lately, I can't get enough...of listening to the Dixie Chicks.  Man...they were a brilliant band.  I wish they would make a comeback so.bad.

10.  One thing I am NOT is...filtered.  Good or bad, it usually comes out.

11.  I spent too much money on...new clothes.  I can't help it - I'm finally able to wear normal sizes and I don't look half bad in some of them so it is fun again to shop!  Sorry, Sean...

12.  I want to learn...Spanish.  I'm pretty sure my parents sent me for that semester in Mexico for that very purpose, but oooops...I kinda forgot to do that part.  I did, however, learn ALL about beer and some crazy pyramids.  I was immersing myself in the culture.  I would do it all over again, too, in a heartbeat!

13.  If I ever met Orlando Bloom, I'd ... probably say something completely dumb and ask for a picture - which will end up as crazy looking as my picture with Shaq did.

14.  I can't stop...watching Real Housewives of OC.  Those ladies are crazy, but I love it!!!

15.  Never have I ever...been good at portion control.  I love food.

16.  Reese Witherspoon....is a total badass.  I love she went Sweet Home Alabama on that cop.  "Do you know my name??  Well, you are about to!"  BAM!  In your face, cop!  Something tells me she and I could drink some whisky together and have a grand ole' time...

Don't wish it away. Don't look at it like it's forever.

Many years ago (back before Facebook, if you can even comprehend such a time), I decided at the ripe old age of 19 that I should get married.  Surprising enough, most everyone we knew and loved thought it was an equally swell idea and thus began Sean's and my adventure together.  We had a rather long engagement, full of showers and parties and general wedding drama, and it was a really fun time.  So fun, I pretty much forgot to go to class during my sophomore year of school!  I mean, I had more important things to do like workout...live in the sorority house....workout some more (I did end up losing like 40 something pounds for the big day)...and attend every party I could find because we needed to celebrate!  When the big day finally arrived that hot, sweaty August - I was ready.  I practically ran down that aisle, said my vows and dragged my new husband to the biggest party we've (my parents) ever thrown.  It was epic, fun and a blur all at the same time.

The honeymoon and a few weeks of wedded bliss later and I was smacked in the face with my first taste of post-event blues.  I didn't want to do anything, I barely left the apartment and I told Sean we weren't going to make it since he left his wet towels on the floor.  Obviously, we worked through it (and much more over the past 10 years), but it just seemed so bizarre to me to go from being so high on life to being on the bottom of the floor so quickly.  It really was my first taste of the blues.  I was not a fan.

I often wonder if anyone else goes through the blues as badly as I do.  Post-partum depression was my most serious case yet, and after both children I had to be medicated and seen by a psychiatrist for weeks before I was back to feeling "normal".  It didn't help I was in stressful situations, job-wise, both times after having children.  I am 100% all about women taking the time for themselves after such a major life event, and am a huge advocate for getting help even if you think you don't need it.  Frankly, I think it should be a requirement for people to see a shrink at least once a month to unload.  Lucky for me, I have some pretty great friends that let me just say what I need to, not judge (hopefully) me by it and move on down the road free of charge.  I just wish I could figure out how to stay on the ups....and not have the lows go so low.  I get in these funks that just suck, and it takes me a day to really get past them.

I'm being quite honest with this post, and I'm not really sure why.  I didn't even really realize this was weighing on my heart so heavily before I started typing.  I love where I am in life, so the fact I'm so "whomp-whomp" about things is slightly ridiculous.  I guess we are just in another season of change, and with that brings the tears and the "how can that be's".  Maybe it was the cute picture of Sawyer in a graduation cap that set things off?  I'm still not sure how my baby is old enough to almost be done with Kindergarten.  They say nothing gives you a measure of time like watching your children grow, and that is so true.  Every so often I see his baby face, but mostly it's so grown up and kid-like that it's hard to see it anymore without really looking.  I barely remember what it was like with him at E's age.  I just feel like I want to press pause for a few days and soak life in as it is right now.  I never do well with change, but I always like the new that it brings.  I'm a silly girl.  :)

So, village, please pray for us while we make a few big decisions in the coming weeks.  I know it will all work out in the end, but dang if it isn't hard getting there!

~~~~~

No Heels, Not Many Hills and a PR!

Wow - what an amazing race I just had!!!  Personal Record of 41:19!!! I am loving life right now!!! 

Besides the chilly wind, this morning was perfect for a good 5k at Heels and Hills.  I really didn't have any race day jitters this time, and felt really relaxed about the whole process.  Seeing as just a few months ago I could barely walk because I was so sick, I was just so happy today to be back out there. I wasn't putting any pressure on myself other than to just have a good run.  In the back of my mind I was thinking "hey, it would be cool to PR again", but since I had done ZERO long distance runs since Surgery Bonanza 2013 I really wasn't sure that was possible.  I just put my tunes on and headed out, me and my Sole Sistas (the group I was pacing myself with).  I told Mandy to just go and don't wait for me.  I knew she would be faster and I didn't want her to do anything but her best for her very first race!  Sure enough, the bestie smoked me, and came in 61st place with a finish of 36:02!  She's a rockstar!

I only time I hit a snag was at mile 2.  I screwed up on my breathing and it took a bit to get it caught again.  Breathing is my biggest obstacle, and something I need to continue to practice.  My shins and calves felt pretty awesome, and I honestly felt the fastest I'd been since starting this whole running journey.  I was concentrating on working my intervals (per Coach Misty), and that really helped me stay on pace and not get frustrated.  I was alternating between a 4 minute run/1 min(ish) walk and 2 minute run/1 min walk and I was moving!  It was much better than beating myself up to run the whole thing.  I think knowing that a walk was in my near future kept me more apt to run faster when I needed to.  Before I knew it, I was turning the corner, turning it up and finishing strong through the "start line" (funny - they set the balloon up wrong, and the finish said start.  Made me laugh, anyway!)  I might be acting like a bad ass right now, but I really think I could've done a 10K and been ok!  Maybe that will be my next goal?  I feel like I could do anything right now, but that could be the runners high talking hahaha!

So, what is different this time around? Well - it's May and chilly.  The last race I did was in muggy, hot September.  I am about 15 or so pounds lighter than I was then, too, and a lot leaner.  (Thanks, Spike)  Strength training has helped a lot, and the core exercises I've suffered through (Thanks, Spike) has helped my back, too.   I think if I had focused on endurance training, while incorporating the things I did do, I would have broken 40 mins for sure.  I also have earbuds that don't fall out and distract me, and a badass playlist that kept me jamming all the way through.  All in all, things were just great and I couldn't be happier to add this bib to my "Wall of Awesome"!!

And here is a pic with me and Misty - all of those races above I did because of her and I thank her for it so much!  She's been such a source of inspiration and information and I am lucky to have her cheering me on!  She PRed today, too, and ran an incredible 13.1.  I'm proud of her, too, and I can't wait to see her take Ironman Tahoe by storm this fall!!

Here is to many more miles together....Cheers!!

Kriss Kross will make you Jump, Jump!

Y'all, I seriously thought about wearing my shirt backwards in memory of Chris Kelly this week.  One of my fondest memories of elementary school (shout out, Key Cobras -whhhat?!!) was our end of year dance.  Please imagine a hundred or so (mostly) white kids shaking their thing to this song in the cafeteria.  It.was.AMAZING.  I laugh thinking about it still, because it was too much.  The puff-painted outfits, the cut off shorts, the somewhat gangsta rap playing in our little elementary. You can't make this stuff up!  I really did have a fun time growing up in A-town.  I hope my kids get to be just as silly as we did.

With that said, RIP Mac Daddy.  You made this white girl jump, jump fo' sho.

~~~~~

I just got back from picking up my race packet for this weekend's race, or what I like to call "Jenn's Gonna Fake It Till She Makes It" race.  The shirt is adorable.  The path is flat.  The weather should be amazing.  I bought myself a new pair of pants so my old ones won't fall down while I run (you're welcome).  I'd like to PR and beat my last time of 45:10, but I'm not really putting that much pressure on myself to do that.  I just want to finish and hang up a new bib in my office.  My friend T and I are going to do a half in September, but I feel like I have lots of time to get ready for that.  Saying that, September will be here before we know it, I will be 32 and I will be screwed.  Someone please remind me to start training before August, ok?

~~~~~

I heard this saying today while watching a movie, and I really took it to heart.  "Bad news is good news in disguise."  Hum.  Let that sink in.  That is pretty true, right?  Every time I've gotten bad news, it's worked out in the best way possible.  My house caught fire = got to remodel.  I lost my job = got a badass one working for my buddy.  Lost a bad friend = gained time to focus on my good ones.  It always hurts at the beginning, but I've always come out of it better than ever at the end.  It's just a good lesson I'm taking in.  Thanks, Ice Age 4.  :)

Happy Weekend, y'all!  May it be as beautiful as you are.  Cheers!

The Pursuit of Happyness

Have you ever seen The Pursuit of Happyness? I laugh when they are talking about "Happyness" being spelled wrong, but the F-bomb being spelled right. Right now I kind of feel like my "happyness" is spelled wrong, too. I do have the F-bomb spelled right, though. At least I have one thing going for me.

I can't freely write about how I feel today, because the layers are just too deep for this blog. So, I'll talk about friendship since that has been a topic of discussion lately.

Friendship is always an interesting conversation - what it means, how to have one, how to maintain one, when to walk away from a toxic situation. I'll be the first to say I'm not perfect, and if anyone thinks I'm trying to be let me correct you right now. To love and be loved are the basic emotions I have about friendship. I feel like it should be that simple, but it rarely is and that annoys me. It used to frustrate me to the core, but in my old age (ha, still younger than Sean) I feel like I've learned to let things go a lot more than I used to. I honestly don't really have an opinion on much anymore and basically go by the old "if you are happy, so am I" for most things concerning my friends. My life, personally, is deep enough and I don't want to get involved with much else. It's not that I don't care, it's just that I am sick and tired of having one-sided relationships that disappoint me in the end. I learned the value in true friendships during our house fire, and once again when I got sick. I feel like I'm getting a handle on having friends as an adult, and that the true value lies in quality and no longer in quantity. I know there is still the little girl inside, though, that just wants to be understood. Whenever I get frustrated by someone, I just remind myself that there is always a backstory, and to be kind even though I just want to be like WTF. So...I guess lately I've just reverted into myself a bit and just wanted to concentrate on what is best for me. You can only give so much of yourself before you have nothing left.

With all of that said, I love a good love story. I love learning more about people, hanging out with people who "knew me when", and spending time with families that get along with mine. Its the best when someone says that we should hang out, and then makes plans to make it happen. Spending time doesn't have to require a lot of pre-planning in my book. Some of the most fun I have had has been spontaneous. So, what type of friend am I? I'm sure anyone reading this can probably weigh in on this for me, but I hope I'm a good one. I know I'm honest, which may or may not be awesome all of the time. I am a fabulous shopping buddy, and I will for sure tell you if that dress makes your butt look big. I do love a good gossip session, and have no problem laughing at myself because I can be ridiculous. I want to inspire people to live the best life possible. It's a "brutiful" (thanks for that word, Glennon) time right now, but I see the good. It's there. I know it. I just want to know how to embrace it better.

~~~~~

My big return to racing is happening this week, in four days to be exact.  I go back and forth between excited and worried.  I've been focusing a lot more on strength training than anything else, and I don't even think I've run a full mile yet without stopping.  I know it won't be the end of the world if I have to walk, and hell - I might be faster if I do.  I am about 15 or so pounds lighter than I was last time I ran a race, so I'm curious to see how that will feel 3 miles in.  My very last post-op check up is Thursday, and I'm excited to officially put that part of my life in the past.  I had a moment the other day when I did too much and paid the price, so that sucked.  I am just still so, so, so grateful that I found the right doctor at the right time.  Just so thankful.  So, with my best friend and Coach Misty in tow, I will make Sunday the best yet.  I just hope I get a decent race picture out of it this time!  

Finish the Sentence with Holly and Jake

Hi Friends -

I've been diligently working in Quickbooks for days now.  I have seriously listened to every.single.song I have on my Spotify.  This is my quick lunch break from all things accounting!

Here we go:

1. I laughed so hard I cried when Sawyer told me he peed on his new medal he won in the art competition yesterday.  Seriously.  This child kills me every day with the crazy shit he does.

2. My high school is down the street and I drive past it almost daily.  I didn't really appreciate the experience back then, but looking back I had some really good times at AHS.  I was recently back on campus (my company was building a new concession stand for the football team) and it was really weird...

3. It really pisses me off when people are flakey.  I am not going to beg you to be my friend/do something/have fun.  Ain't nobody got time for that, either.

4. In ten years I will have been married for over 20.  Mind.is.blown.

5. If I could erase one thing I'd probably redo my love for slicked back ponytails and umbro shorts back in the day.  I really looked like a weird boy running around...

6. In 1999, I graduated high school and started my Freshman year at Stephen F. Austin.  It was a big year full of even bigger mistakes and learning experiences.

7. Honestly, I'm friggin overwhelmed by my job and scared I'm making a ton of mistakes.  I don't like not knowing how to do something.

8. To me, Sushi is a treat, but not something I eat often.  

9. Someone really needs to invent cheap lipo.  I've got a few areas that could use a touchup.

10. The first time I drank alcohol, it was Peach Schnapps and it was with Stacey.  It still makes me laugh!

11. The one question I would ask God is why my brother has to be the way that he is.  My heart is broken by him and his choices.  

12. Lindsay Lohan needs to get her shit together.  Period.  

Back to the grind!  Cheers!

Running

Running is a safe place for me.  It's a time for me to forget about all the stuff I have going on, and to focus on the here and now.  It's a time where I zone out, think about the friends I haven't checked in with, wonder about the friends I've lost touch with, randomly remember that it's Teacher Appreciation WEEK (yes, week) and that I have bought nothing for Sawyer to bring to his teacher.  When I'm training for a race, even one as lame as a local 5k, I take it seriously and listen to my body and take special care of my shins and back so I can push myself further because I love it.  Running sets me free.

I've decided to hang my bibs up in my office.  I'm hoping to one day have this wall full!

I can't imagine being in that zone, my safe and sacred running zone, and suddenly find myself in the middle of an explosion.

I won't lie - I felt like I was watching scenes from 9/11.  People wandering around with dazed looks, screaming horrible sounds that didn't sound human, and the chaos that was all around the finish line was all to familiar.  It just hit home to the 20 year old girl that watched two towers crumble and life change in the blink of an eye. Finding out that one of the dead was an 8 year old child gave me chills, and brought tears to my eyes because I know that their life was cut short by someone else's selfishness.  Why anyone thought to do something as horrific as this blows my mind.  It has rocked the country, and more intimately the running world.  Runners, as I'm finding out, are a special crew.  I'm a newbie and by no means earned my spot at the front of the starting line, but it's mine and I own it more than I ever thought possible.  Its the simple nod when you pass someone while running the trails, or the look you give to your neighbor as you are hopping off a particularly long run on the treadmill and they are about to start.  We all start at the same place and end up there, too - so proud to pound the pavement, and love chasing the runner's high again and again.  I can't wrap my head around running a marathon, and at this moment in time have no aspirations in doing so, but my hat is tipped to those who have.  If I break down and ugly cry after a simple 5k, I don't know what in the hell would happen after running 26.2.  It just breaks my heart that someone ruined that moment for so many people.  People who gave up sleeping in, seeing their kids right after work, and weekend soccer games so they could get their long runs in.  Dedication, determination and now redemption is what is needed for 2014.  Prayers tonight and every night for those who loved and lost today in Boston.

****************************************

I just want it to be easy.

I'm sorry guys, I know it's been a long time since I've posted.

Honestly, I haven't known what to write.

I don't want this to be a negative space, but that's kind of where I've been the last few weeks.  Frustration has set in because I haven't seen the changes I want to see and the only person I can blame is myself.

Diet, for me, is crucial.  It's also the first thing I throw out the window when the going gets tough.  Between genetics (thanks, birth parents), PCOS, and this weird gluten thing I have going it's harder than hell to make the damn scale move.  I've been stress eating and struggling to find my routine of working out.  There just never seems to be enough time in the day.  I knowingly eat something that has gluten in it because it is easy, and then I spend the rest of the day paying for it in one way or another.  It's just dumb, and breaking the cycle is a daily challenge.

So in a nutshell, I've been mad that I haven't hit One-derland.  It was my goal to be out of the 200s before the New Year, but with all the weird medical crap I had go down, I never made it.  I porked up quite nicely, lost a bunch of it on Whole 30 and have since maintained anywhere from 203-208, depending on a few factors.  I know I look thinner because I can tell clothes fit better than ever, but I just have this issue with my scale not having a number that reflects how I feel!  A stupid machine shouldn't dictate how I feel about myself, but it does.  I should break up with the stupid thing, but last time I did that I gained a shit ton of weight so I'm not so sure that is the best course of action.  Can I send my scale to live somewhere else for awhile?  Any takers?

I start complaining to my bestie about all of this, and I got this text back:

Damn.  She is right.  She is so freakin right.

She's the best best friend a girl could ever have, and that was exactly what I needed to hear.

So, I guess my pity party is ohhh-vaaah - I'm sorry none of y'all could make it.

Moving along...

Did you know it was possible to stay on the elliptical for an hour??  I mean, I've seen the time start for that long, but I didn't know it was actually something I could do.  It was a mind blowing experience, for sure.  I think I told Spike he was crazy, but who knew?  It can be done!  Here is the proof (and I promise I did stay on those last 32 seconds):

Speaking of Spike (sorry, buddy, I just can't remember to call you Selase), I'm so glad I finally called him for help (and somewhat kicking myself for not doing it a long time ago) and have really enjoyed working out with him once a week with my momma.  I just never work out as hard as I should on my own.  This will sound stupid, but there is just so many things to remember and when I am at the gym I don't want to do a whole lot of thinkin'.  I like that Spike remembers it for me because sometimes I get  a bit blonde and forget what I'm supposed to do (I know, shocker).  I do, however, think he sneaks in extra reps when I space out...but, since I can't remember there isn't any way to catch him.  He's good, that Spike...

Tomorrow is a new day, and I'm going to get back out there and rock it.  Thank you, village, for reaching out to me in the most random ways and encouraging me to keep going!  I won't let you down, I promise! :)  Cheers!

Finish the Sentence

Through Mama L's and Skinny Meg's blog's, I've found a new favorite of mine - Holly!  She blogs at Where We Can Live Like Jack and Sally.  She's super adorable, funny and actually signed on to be a follower of mine (and I didn't pay her, crazy town!)!  I'm really happy to have found her blog and enjoy reading her antics with her cutie pie kiddos and hubby!

Anyhoo, she has a link-up party happening, and we all know I HATE being left out of things, so here goes my entry:

1. If calories didn't count, I would eat cake followed by pie followed by brownies and finished with some ice cream.  I might explode and die, but I'd be happy.  

2. On my Prom night I didn't give it up.  Ain't nobody have time for Prom babies.

3. When I go to the store, I always buy things I don't need and always forget the one thing I actually went there for.  I'm frustrating like that.  Thank goodness I'm cute.

4. Family functions typically are loud, full of booze and the story about when I swallowed a quarter tends to come up.  I'll save that story for later...

5. I think my blog readers are the bomb!  I officially have 11!  Booyah!  My almost defunct family blog has like 26, which is funny since I never update it.  Everett will forever be an infant on there...

6. I'd much rather be in Santa Barbara, drinkin some good Pinot at this very given point.  Working in QuickBooks is mind numbing.  

7. I have an obsession with my garage door.  Did I close it?  Did it stay closed?  I seriously drive around the street most days to go back and check.  My 6 year old's only job is to tell me if I closed it on the way to school, and he's just as ADD as I am at paying attention.  Awesome.

8. My work friends are like family.  Considering there are only like 9 of us...we are pretty tight.

9. When I created my Facebook account I was pissed that everyone left Myspace.

10. My least favorite word is moist.  Eww.  I gagged even typing that.

11. I really don't remember Freshman Year, but the pictures look fun! 

12. Justin Bieber needs to take a long walk off a short pier.

I guess that's it! :)  Back to work...