I've been at a plateau weight and motivation wise for some time now.
It's so frustrating.
Part of me wants to give up and say "Hey, where you are isn't so bad and it's not 45 pounds heavier, so just chill here." The other part is PISSED that I haven't reached certain goals that I previously set and is ready to freakin get the show on the road.
So, while the first part is moaning and complaining, my other half sent a shout out on Facebook about other workout options. It is no lie that I hate my current gym. I mean, it's never done anything to me personally, but I just really don't like to go. I've visited other gyms and even came close to buying a membership somewhere else, but it just didn't feel right.
An old high school buddy, one that has known me since my Umbro-shorts wearing days, invited me to come try a class at the dance studio she goes to 6 times a week (no lie. Like, she's there a whole lot), and at first I was like...ehhhhh. Dance class? In Grand Prairie? Where is she trying to take me, what are we going to be doing, is this a good (read, safe) idea? But, the good thing about knowing J so long is that I know she wouldn't waste her time going somewhere that sucks. Plus, she's lookin' pretty hot these days, too, so I figured what the hell. Maybe I should step out of my old comfort zone and try something new. I sent her a message and asked if she was going to workout on Saturday (today), and she replied yes - AND that she attends two classes back to back while there.
Um.
What?
I didn't want to sound like a wimp, but I seriously was like I'm going to die trying to struggle through two classes. Anyone that's ever done one serious class knows how hard that can be, and I was signing up for two? She offered to pick me up, and even let me use one of her punches, so I agreed and said see you in the A.M.
As luck would have it, E decided that last night would be an awesome night to scare the shit out of his mother and have this weird asthma-like breathing nightmare attack at 11:30 pm, keeping us up until close to 1:30 after we got doctors orders and breathing treatments underway. I also woke up two other times to check and make sure he was still breathing, so I'm pretty sure I had about a grand total of zero hours of sleep. It was like having a newborn all over again (which is the reason we don't HAVE one of those anymore) and I was dragging ass in a serious way this morning. I thought about bailing at least 939202 times last night, but I figured it wouldn't do me any good laying around here so I didn't.
I'm really glad I went to class.
Long story short, we did a strength training/cardio mix class and then I got to try Zumba for the first time afterwards. Um, I seriously love Zumba. I am by far the worse one in there, and every ounce of my white-girl dancing skillz were out in full force, but it was the most fun I've had working out in a long time. So much so, that I went and bought 20 classes immediately after we were done! I was drenched, I had jelly legs and I was so happy to have burned like 600+ calories shaking my thang. The energy in that class was amazing, and everyone was there to have fun and not take things seriously. There was also a 29 month pregnant instructor who I felt like was going to pop her water at any given moment, so there was that to keep me entertained, too. I think I was mostly jealous that she was still moving and grooving that far along in her pregnancy. Her kiddo will come out dancing for sure.
So, moral of this story is to always try something new. Seriously, every time I am scared to do it and then finally do - I love it, and want to do more of it. I feel at some point I will learn that lesson and waste a little less time with things, but for now I'm thankful for a friend that offered me a new opportunity.
Monday, May 27, 2013
Friday, May 17, 2013
Break Away
I need a change of pace.
My motivation has gone with the cool weather - and I am finding it difficult to bring it back to where it used to be.
A year ago, when I started this weight loss journey, I signed up at the local big box gym that only costs $10 a month. I love a deal. I didn't love working out. It was a pretty good fit, so I signed up and off I went. At first it was fine - clean, empty, and I didn't mind going. I wasn't even sure I would stay the course, so I wasn't looking for a huge financial commitment that would go down the drain anyway. Turns out I like working out, and go 3-5 a week, depending on schedules.
Everything was going swell, and then they ran a promotion to drum up more business. Something along the lines of "Bring your mother, friend, dog, sister wife - whoever you can find to fill this place and we will give you a free puppy". All of a sudden, my empty gym was full of people. And, if we are being honest, not exactly people that make me want to workout more.
Almost overnight the population of this gym changed.
Away went the people that looked like this:
and in its place are gems like this:
And that is just the dude population. The ladies are a whole other situation. I would say about 90% of them are there for the free childcare they offer. I get it. If I had 9 children under the age of 10 and could get a break every day by only paying $10 bucks a month, I'd probably do the same thing. I'd also probably try and get off food stamps, too, but that is a whole other story.
So, while I'm applauding these people for at least trying to do something better for themselves (or at least convince themselves of that), I'm tired of seeing them. They do not make me want to kick ass in the gym. They make me want to eat Cheetos and watch my stories. I am not saying that I am better than them. I just want to be around more people who are there for the same reasons I am there. I'd also like a gym that doesn't hide the damn foam rollers from people and lock up their med balls. I'm pretty sure I'm the least of their concern for people who steal shit.
This conundrum leaves me with a few options:
Crossfit: Not.Going.To.Happen. This is said for two reasons. The morning classes are at 5am and 6am. Have any of y'all seen me function at either one of those un-godly hours? I didn't think so. This also won't work since the afternoon classes are at 5pm and 6pm. Yea....can't do that either, especially when Sean is in school.
Pure Barre: Who can afford this? I am tempted to buy the new member pass for $100, but the $220/month or whatever they have going will not work for this budget.
Texas Fitt: This is a family/locally owned little gym. I took a tour today, and it is quiet and clean. They have nice equipment. I went to HS with the owner. It is in between Sawyer's school and my work. What I don't like is paying extra for classes. I don't attend classes now at Crappy Connection because they are full of the aforementioned "work out ladies", but when I worked out at 24hr a million years ago I loved doing them. I'm not sure how they would fit into my world right now, but being cheap I hate to think of paying extra.
24hr Fitness: Sigh. I don't want to go here.
So, what should I do? I think I need to do something different. I'm not getting any thinner...
My motivation has gone with the cool weather - and I am finding it difficult to bring it back to where it used to be.
A year ago, when I started this weight loss journey, I signed up at the local big box gym that only costs $10 a month. I love a deal. I didn't love working out. It was a pretty good fit, so I signed up and off I went. At first it was fine - clean, empty, and I didn't mind going. I wasn't even sure I would stay the course, so I wasn't looking for a huge financial commitment that would go down the drain anyway. Turns out I like working out, and go 3-5 a week, depending on schedules.
Everything was going swell, and then they ran a promotion to drum up more business. Something along the lines of "Bring your mother, friend, dog, sister wife - whoever you can find to fill this place and we will give you a free puppy". All of a sudden, my empty gym was full of people. And, if we are being honest, not exactly people that make me want to workout more.
Almost overnight the population of this gym changed.
Away went the people that looked like this:
and in its place are gems like this:
And that is just the dude population. The ladies are a whole other situation. I would say about 90% of them are there for the free childcare they offer. I get it. If I had 9 children under the age of 10 and could get a break every day by only paying $10 bucks a month, I'd probably do the same thing. I'd also probably try and get off food stamps, too, but that is a whole other story.
So, while I'm applauding these people for at least trying to do something better for themselves (or at least convince themselves of that), I'm tired of seeing them. They do not make me want to kick ass in the gym. They make me want to eat Cheetos and watch my stories. I am not saying that I am better than them. I just want to be around more people who are there for the same reasons I am there. I'd also like a gym that doesn't hide the damn foam rollers from people and lock up their med balls. I'm pretty sure I'm the least of their concern for people who steal shit.
This conundrum leaves me with a few options:
Crossfit: Not.Going.To.Happen. This is said for two reasons. The morning classes are at 5am and 6am. Have any of y'all seen me function at either one of those un-godly hours? I didn't think so. This also won't work since the afternoon classes are at 5pm and 6pm. Yea....can't do that either, especially when Sean is in school.
Pure Barre: Who can afford this? I am tempted to buy the new member pass for $100, but the $220/month or whatever they have going will not work for this budget.
Texas Fitt: This is a family/locally owned little gym. I took a tour today, and it is quiet and clean. They have nice equipment. I went to HS with the owner. It is in between Sawyer's school and my work. What I don't like is paying extra for classes. I don't attend classes now at Crappy Connection because they are full of the aforementioned "work out ladies", but when I worked out at 24hr a million years ago I loved doing them. I'm not sure how they would fit into my world right now, but being cheap I hate to think of paying extra.
24hr Fitness: Sigh. I don't want to go here.
So, what should I do? I think I need to do something different. I'm not getting any thinner...
Thursday, May 9, 2013
Jake and Holly's Finish the Sentence
I love finishing the sentences linkup's - it always gives me something new to think about! Here is the latest from Jake and Holly!
1. Unlike my sibling...I don't suck at life.
2. My Best Friend says...that I always tell it how it is, even when she doesn't want me to. I've mellowed out in my old age, though. She also would probably say that I'm pretty awesome at getting her into trouble, but that is nothing new. We've been causing drama together since the mid 90's. :)
3. People call me...maybe? Sorry. I couldn't help it. Anyway, most people call me Jenn. My nickname is Jennjilla, which came from owning a chinchilla as a pet in college (Nicole the chinchilla lived at my parents home, and was electrocuted when our house was hit by lightening since she was inside a metal cage. She went batshit crazy and chewed off her own tail. I can't make this stuff up). It kind of stuck and is now my screen name for everything.
4. I most often dream...about stressful situations. I work a lot of stuff out in my dreams, and then it's a lot better in real life. I also get to say things to certain people in my dreams that I want to in real life, but can't since that would be rude. Granted, push me enough...I'll just say it anyway. :) I'm super charming that way!
5. The best part of my day...is totally when I get to see my boys after school! I love Sawyer telling me all about his super exciting day, and E's toddler run while screaming "Momma"!
6. I don't really understand...why my son thinks it is cool to pee in my bed and not tell me. Not cool, little dude, not cool.
7. I get really annoyed...when I can't find something I'm looking for. This may have something to do with my life being in a state of constant chaose, but I'm not sure. All I know is that I can't have anyone touching my piles.
8. There's nothing like...getting into bed made with clean sheets. Getting to watch a tv show of my choice while in said bed is a bonus!
9. Lately, I can't get enough...of listening to the Dixie Chicks. Man...they were a brilliant band. I wish they would make a comeback so.bad.
10. One thing I am NOT is...filtered. Good or bad, it usually comes out.
11. I spent too much money on...new clothes. I can't help it - I'm finally able to wear normal sizes and I don't look half bad in some of them so it is fun again to shop! Sorry, Sean...
12. I want to learn...Spanish. I'm pretty sure my parents sent me for that semester in Mexico for that very purpose, but oooops...I kinda forgot to do that part. I did, however, learn ALL about beer and some crazy pyramids. I was immersing myself in the culture. I would do it all over again, too, in a heartbeat!
13. If I ever met Orlando Bloom, I'd ... probably say something completely dumb and ask for a picture - which will end up as crazy looking as my picture with Shaq did.
14. I can't stop...watching Real Housewives of OC. Those ladies are crazy, but I love it!!!
15. Never have I ever...been good at portion control. I love food.
16. Reese Witherspoon....is a total badass. I love she went Sweet Home Alabama on that cop. "Do you know my name?? Well, you are about to!" BAM! In your face, cop! Something tells me she and I could drink some whisky together and have a grand ole' time...
1. Unlike my sibling...I don't suck at life.
2. My Best Friend says...that I always tell it how it is, even when she doesn't want me to. I've mellowed out in my old age, though. She also would probably say that I'm pretty awesome at getting her into trouble, but that is nothing new. We've been causing drama together since the mid 90's. :)
3. People call me...maybe? Sorry. I couldn't help it. Anyway, most people call me Jenn. My nickname is Jennjilla, which came from owning a chinchilla as a pet in college (Nicole the chinchilla lived at my parents home, and was electrocuted when our house was hit by lightening since she was inside a metal cage. She went batshit crazy and chewed off her own tail. I can't make this stuff up). It kind of stuck and is now my screen name for everything.
4. I most often dream...about stressful situations. I work a lot of stuff out in my dreams, and then it's a lot better in real life. I also get to say things to certain people in my dreams that I want to in real life, but can't since that would be rude. Granted, push me enough...I'll just say it anyway. :) I'm super charming that way!
5. The best part of my day...is totally when I get to see my boys after school! I love Sawyer telling me all about his super exciting day, and E's toddler run while screaming "Momma"!
6. I don't really understand...why my son thinks it is cool to pee in my bed and not tell me. Not cool, little dude, not cool.
7. I get really annoyed...when I can't find something I'm looking for. This may have something to do with my life being in a state of constant chaose, but I'm not sure. All I know is that I can't have anyone touching my piles.
8. There's nothing like...getting into bed made with clean sheets. Getting to watch a tv show of my choice while in said bed is a bonus!
9. Lately, I can't get enough...of listening to the Dixie Chicks. Man...they were a brilliant band. I wish they would make a comeback so.bad.
10. One thing I am NOT is...filtered. Good or bad, it usually comes out.
11. I spent too much money on...new clothes. I can't help it - I'm finally able to wear normal sizes and I don't look half bad in some of them so it is fun again to shop! Sorry, Sean...
12. I want to learn...Spanish. I'm pretty sure my parents sent me for that semester in Mexico for that very purpose, but oooops...I kinda forgot to do that part. I did, however, learn ALL about beer and some crazy pyramids. I was immersing myself in the culture. I would do it all over again, too, in a heartbeat!
13. If I ever met Orlando Bloom, I'd ... probably say something completely dumb and ask for a picture - which will end up as crazy looking as my picture with Shaq did.
14. I can't stop...watching Real Housewives of OC. Those ladies are crazy, but I love it!!!
15. Never have I ever...been good at portion control. I love food.
16. Reese Witherspoon....is a total badass. I love she went Sweet Home Alabama on that cop. "Do you know my name?? Well, you are about to!" BAM! In your face, cop! Something tells me she and I could drink some whisky together and have a grand ole' time...
Tuesday, May 7, 2013
Don't wish it away. Don't look at it like it's forever.
Many years ago (back before Facebook, if you can even comprehend such a time), I decided at the ripe old age of 19 that I should get married. Surprising enough, most everyone we knew and loved thought it was an equally swell idea and thus began Sean's and my adventure together. We had a rather long engagement, full of showers and parties and general wedding drama, and it was a really fun time. So fun, I pretty much forgot to go to class during my sophomore year of school! I mean, I had more important things to do like workout...live in the sorority house....workout some more (I did end up losing like 40 something pounds for the big day)...and attend every party I could find because we needed to celebrate! When the big day finally arrived that hot, sweaty August - I was ready. I practically ran down that aisle, said my vows and dragged my new husband to the biggest party we've (my parents) ever thrown. It was epic, fun and a blur all at the same time.
The honeymoon and a few weeks of wedded bliss later and I was smacked in the face with my first taste of post-event blues. I didn't want to do anything, I barely left the apartment and I told Sean we weren't going to make it since he left his wet towels on the floor. Obviously, we worked through it (and much more over the past 10 years), but it just seemed so bizarre to me to go from being so high on life to being on the bottom of the floor so quickly. It really was my first taste of the blues. I was not a fan.
I often wonder if anyone else goes through the blues as badly as I do. Post-partum depression was my most serious case yet, and after both children I had to be medicated and seen by a psychiatrist for weeks before I was back to feeling "normal". It didn't help I was in stressful situations, job-wise, both times after having children. I am 100% all about women taking the time for themselves after such a major life event, and am a huge advocate for getting help even if you think you don't need it. Frankly, I think it should be a requirement for people to see a shrink at least once a month to unload. Lucky for me, I have some pretty great friends that let me just say what I need to, not judge (hopefully) me by it and move on down the road free of charge. I just wish I could figure out how to stay on the ups....and not have the lows go so low. I get in these funks that just suck, and it takes me a day to really get past them.
I'm being quite honest with this post, and I'm not really sure why. I didn't even really realize this was weighing on my heart so heavily before I started typing. I love where I am in life, so the fact I'm so "whomp-whomp" about things is slightly ridiculous. I guess we are just in another season of change, and with that brings the tears and the "how can that be's". Maybe it was the cute picture of Sawyer in a graduation cap that set things off? I'm still not sure how my baby is old enough to almost be done with Kindergarten. They say nothing gives you a measure of time like watching your children grow, and that is so true. Every so often I see his baby face, but mostly it's so grown up and kid-like that it's hard to see it anymore without really looking. I barely remember what it was like with him at E's age. I just feel like I want to press pause for a few days and soak life in as it is right now. I never do well with change, but I always like the new that it brings. I'm a silly girl. :)
So, village, please pray for us while we make a few big decisions in the coming weeks. I know it will all work out in the end, but dang if it isn't hard getting there!
The honeymoon and a few weeks of wedded bliss later and I was smacked in the face with my first taste of post-event blues. I didn't want to do anything, I barely left the apartment and I told Sean we weren't going to make it since he left his wet towels on the floor. Obviously, we worked through it (and much more over the past 10 years), but it just seemed so bizarre to me to go from being so high on life to being on the bottom of the floor so quickly. It really was my first taste of the blues. I was not a fan.
I often wonder if anyone else goes through the blues as badly as I do. Post-partum depression was my most serious case yet, and after both children I had to be medicated and seen by a psychiatrist for weeks before I was back to feeling "normal". It didn't help I was in stressful situations, job-wise, both times after having children. I am 100% all about women taking the time for themselves after such a major life event, and am a huge advocate for getting help even if you think you don't need it. Frankly, I think it should be a requirement for people to see a shrink at least once a month to unload. Lucky for me, I have some pretty great friends that let me just say what I need to, not judge (hopefully) me by it and move on down the road free of charge. I just wish I could figure out how to stay on the ups....and not have the lows go so low. I get in these funks that just suck, and it takes me a day to really get past them.
I'm being quite honest with this post, and I'm not really sure why. I didn't even really realize this was weighing on my heart so heavily before I started typing. I love where I am in life, so the fact I'm so "whomp-whomp" about things is slightly ridiculous. I guess we are just in another season of change, and with that brings the tears and the "how can that be's". Maybe it was the cute picture of Sawyer in a graduation cap that set things off? I'm still not sure how my baby is old enough to almost be done with Kindergarten. They say nothing gives you a measure of time like watching your children grow, and that is so true. Every so often I see his baby face, but mostly it's so grown up and kid-like that it's hard to see it anymore without really looking. I barely remember what it was like with him at E's age. I just feel like I want to press pause for a few days and soak life in as it is right now. I never do well with change, but I always like the new that it brings. I'm a silly girl. :)
So, village, please pray for us while we make a few big decisions in the coming weeks. I know it will all work out in the end, but dang if it isn't hard getting there!
~~~~~
Sunday, May 5, 2013
No Heels, Not Many Hills and a PR!
Wow - what an amazing race I just had!!! Personal Record of 41:19!!! I am loving life right now!!!
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Besides the chilly wind, this morning was perfect for a good 5k at Heels and Hills. I really didn't have any race day jitters this time, and felt really relaxed about the whole process. Seeing as just a few months ago I could barely walk because I was so sick, I was just so happy today to be back out there. I wasn't putting any pressure on myself other than to just have a good run. In the back of my mind I was thinking "hey, it would be cool to PR again", but since I had done ZERO long distance runs since Surgery Bonanza 2013 I really wasn't sure that was possible. I just put my tunes on and headed out, me and my Sole Sistas (the group I was pacing myself with). I told Mandy to just go and don't wait for me. I knew she would be faster and I didn't want her to do anything but her best for her very first race! Sure enough, the bestie smoked me, and came in 61st place with a finish of 36:02! She's a rockstar!
I only time I hit a snag was at mile 2. I screwed up on my breathing and it took a bit to get it caught again. Breathing is my biggest obstacle, and something I need to continue to practice. My shins and calves felt pretty awesome, and I honestly felt the fastest I'd been since starting this whole running journey. I was concentrating on working my intervals (per Coach Misty), and that really helped me stay on pace and not get frustrated. I was alternating between a 4 minute run/1 min(ish) walk and 2 minute run/1 min walk and I was moving! It was much better than beating myself up to run the whole thing. I think knowing that a walk was in my near future kept me more apt to run faster when I needed to. Before I knew it, I was turning the corner, turning it up and finishing strong through the "start line" (funny - they set the balloon up wrong, and the finish said start. Made me laugh, anyway!) I might be acting like a bad ass right now, but I really think I could've done a 10K and been ok! Maybe that will be my next goal? I feel like I could do anything right now, but that could be the runners high talking hahaha!
So, what is different this time around? Well - it's May and chilly. The last race I did was in muggy, hot September. I am about 15 or so pounds lighter than I was then, too, and a lot leaner. (Thanks, Spike) Strength training has helped a lot, and the core exercises I've suffered through (Thanks, Spike) has helped my back, too. I think if I had focused on endurance training, while incorporating the things I did do, I would have broken 40 mins for sure. I also have earbuds that don't fall out and distract me, and a badass playlist that kept me jamming all the way through. All in all, things were just great and I couldn't be happier to add this bib to my "Wall of Awesome"!!
And here is a pic with me and Misty - all of those races above I did because of her and I thank her for it so much! She's been such a source of inspiration and information and I am lucky to have her cheering me on! She PRed today, too, and ran an incredible 13.1. I'm proud of her, too, and I can't wait to see her take Ironman Tahoe by storm this fall!!
Here is to many more miles together....Cheers!!
Friday, May 3, 2013
Kriss Kross will make you Jump, Jump!
Y'all, I seriously thought about wearing my shirt backwards in memory of Chris Kelly this week. One of my fondest memories of elementary school (shout out, Key Cobras -whhhat?!!) was our end of year dance. Please imagine a hundred or so (mostly) white kids shaking their thing to this song in the cafeteria. It.was.AMAZING. I laugh thinking about it still, because it was too much. The puff-painted outfits, the cut off shorts, the somewhat gangsta rap playing in our little elementary. You can't make this stuff up! I really did have a fun time growing up in A-town. I hope my kids get to be just as silly as we did.
With that said, RIP Mac Daddy. You made this white girl jump, jump fo' sho.
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I just got back from picking up my race packet for this weekend's race, or what I like to call "Jenn's Gonna Fake It Till She Makes It" race. The shirt is adorable. The path is flat. The weather should be amazing. I bought myself a new pair of pants so my old ones won't fall down while I run (you're welcome). I'd like to PR and beat my last time of 45:10, but I'm not really putting that much pressure on myself to do that. I just want to finish and hang up a new bib in my office. My friend T and I are going to do a half in September, but I feel like I have lots of time to get ready for that. Saying that, September will be here before we know it, I will be 32 and I will be screwed. Someone please remind me to start training before August, ok?
I heard this saying today while watching a movie, and I really took it to heart. "Bad news is good news in disguise." Hum. Let that sink in. That is pretty true, right? Every time I've gotten bad news, it's worked out in the best way possible. My house caught fire = got to remodel. I lost my job = got a badass one working for my buddy. Lost a bad friend = gained time to focus on my good ones. It always hurts at the beginning, but I've always come out of it better than ever at the end. It's just a good lesson I'm taking in. Thanks, Ice Age 4. :)
Happy Weekend, y'all! May it be as beautiful as you are. Cheers!
With that said, RIP Mac Daddy. You made this white girl jump, jump fo' sho.
~~~~~
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I just got back from picking up my race packet for this weekend's race, or what I like to call "Jenn's Gonna Fake It Till She Makes It" race. The shirt is adorable. The path is flat. The weather should be amazing. I bought myself a new pair of pants so my old ones won't fall down while I run (you're welcome). I'd like to PR and beat my last time of 45:10, but I'm not really putting that much pressure on myself to do that. I just want to finish and hang up a new bib in my office. My friend T and I are going to do a half in September, but I feel like I have lots of time to get ready for that. Saying that, September will be here before we know it, I will be 32 and I will be screwed. Someone please remind me to start training before August, ok?
~~~~~
I heard this saying today while watching a movie, and I really took it to heart. "Bad news is good news in disguise." Hum. Let that sink in. That is pretty true, right? Every time I've gotten bad news, it's worked out in the best way possible. My house caught fire = got to remodel. I lost my job = got a badass one working for my buddy. Lost a bad friend = gained time to focus on my good ones. It always hurts at the beginning, but I've always come out of it better than ever at the end. It's just a good lesson I'm taking in. Thanks, Ice Age 4. :)
Happy Weekend, y'all! May it be as beautiful as you are. Cheers!
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