RACE DAY!

I did it, y'all!

Today I completed my very first 5K!

This morning I was faced with a big decision.  Do I stay home in my warm, comfy bed or get my rear in gear and get our to Rahr?  It has been raining now for probably 12 hours straight, and the thought of pounding the pavement in the rain sounded horrible.  I was really frustrated.  After two solid months of training and NO rain - I get to run in super soggy conditions.  I've already shot myself in the foot by only training on a treadmill and doubt my abilities of this going well.  I sent a few texts to those who were scheduled to attend, figured out who was going still and headed out before I could change my mind.

We got out there about an hour before the race started, and it was full of nervous energy for me.  I had a lot of texts and Facebook messages coming through, but nothing got to me like this one:

I totally choked up when I saw this picture from Sean.  It makes all the time I've spent at the gym, not eating yummy, bad for you foods, and miles I've run worth it.  I knew I had to do this and make Sawyer proud!

It was finally race time, and I got in the huge pack of people ready to go.  I actually surprised myself at how well I did coming out of the start.  I really hate the bum-rushing that always happens, with people pushing and shoving and jockeying for position.  It was a relatively smooth start, and off I went around the corner.  The first lesson I learned was don't try and keep up with those people at the front.  That went well for about 30 seconds, and I was already toast.  I put my headphones on and turned on my music so I could try and get focused.  I did ok until about 3/4 into the first mile and I got hit with the biggest side stitch ever!  Shin splints, arch pain, back pain - all of these I have dealt with in the past few weeks.  I really never had side stitches, and boy did it hurt.  I was almost in tears.  I was so frustrated that I couldn't get past it, and I wanted to quit so badly.  All I could think about was Sawyer and his cute little sign and it was enough to keep me going.  I'm pretty sure I was "wogging", but whatever - I was moving and that's all that matters.

I finally out ran the stitch, and suddenly found my pace.  I kept waiting for the other shoe to fall again, but I breezed through the second mile pretty easily.  Having my music helped tremendously.  The same songs I ran to almost every day really kept me motivated and focused.  I can't be sure, but I may have been singing out loud.  I hope everyone liked my Britney Spears.

After I hit that second mile marker, I started having trouble again.  For me, running is 90% a head game, 10% actual exercise.  I am my own worst enemy, and I find it at times hard to keep placing one foot in front of the other.  It was uphill again, and my legs were burning.  I kept being passed by what seemed like everyone in the race, and I was almost in tears again.  I just wanted to be done so bad, I wasn't enjoying the moment like I should have been.  I saw this lady, who was a lot bigger and older than I, and she was still chugging along.  I was like, man - if she can do this, so can I.  I wiped the tears and pushed on.

I was almost done when Misty came down the street.  Boy, I was glad to see her!  I was keeping pace, but it was nice to have a partner to make the last little bit together.  We rounded the corner and I hit whatever gas I had left and finished the race.  I'm pretty sure the super sweet photographer at the end caught me in pre-meltdown.  I lost it after I finished.  To actually commit to running, training almost every day, changing my diet and ultimately completing a goal I once felt was unattainable ..it was a big moment.  I felt proud of myself.  I knew I had done good.

So, there ya have it.  My first race!  I'm already planning on doing another one, but I just needs to see what my schedule permits.  I ate a huge burger, showed Sawyer my "medal" (Finisher Pint Glass) and took a nap.  Hopefully the boys can come cheer me one at the next one, because that would make it even sweeter.  :)

Here is my official time:

 Here is my super sweet "Medal":

Now, I need to find some beer to drink from that bad boy...

Forever 219

I feel like my scale hates me.

No matter what I've done in the past few weeks, it refuses to budge from 219.  Well, that is somewhat of a fib.  Some mornings it will say 218.6 or something to that effect, but what is that?  Mine as well round up and say 219.  I freaking hate the number 219.

I met with Misty and got some good food and snack ideas and also worked on getting me to eat more often.  Say, whhhaa?  Who knew that was probably my problem.  I love to eat, I never thought it would be that I wasn't eating ENOUGH.  In all fairness, this is not a carte blanche excuse to eat my way through the Cici's buffet line at any given moment.  She and I just think that my metabolism needs a kickstart and eating 5-6 times a day, in smaller meals, will be a good solution to that problem.  Also, with my PCOS causing issues with insulin, etc, she suggested I try and not eat carbs (or as few as possible, and the good ones, too) in the evening.  This all sounds do-able and feasible, but I'll be really honest here.  The past few nights have been very trying on this momma.  I have a baby that hates to eat solids, I have a big boy that says everything is "not his favorite" and I can't even remember the last time I sat down to eat before we had to run off to soccer or this/that/whatever.  Single mommas, you have my upmost admiration.  Having Sean in class four nights a week is taxing on us all.  It is absolutely for the greater good, but it really sucks not having another set of hands to help during dinner.  It makes it harder for me, personally, to make good decisions.  It's much easier to throw a few extra chicken nuggets in the microwave than to find chicken, defrost it and cook it.  I'm also having a difficult time eating more often since the only meal time I have alone is lunch and I'm rarely super hungry then.   It's just a huge adjustment.

In happier news, I did finally go get some new workout pants so I will be super cute for Saturday's race.  I still am not sure if I'll be rocking a tank or a tee, but all in all, I'm really getting excited about the whole thing.  I had a great 30 minute workout today on the elliptical, with a bonus five minute heavy run on the treadmill.  I will do some interval training tomorrow and rest up on Friday.  I can't believe it's almost time to run!  Talk about having two months of your life fly right past you...

The Final Stretch

This is is, the last few days before the BIG RACE!!  I'm nervous, anxious and honestly - just ready for it to be here already.

I've now worked out for the past six days straight, which marks an official record for me.  I couldn't tell you the last time that I've spent six straight days doing workout things.  I probably would've bailed on the last two days of events had it not been for my Be Fri, K.  Peer pressurer at its finest, but she got the job done and made me stay accountable to her and most of all, to myself.

Yesterday, I ran outside for the first time really ever and quickly realized how fast the race is going to eat my lunch.  It is SO different than jogging on a treadmill.  I'm pretty sure I've screwed myself in some ways by only training indoors, but what can I do about it now?  I just have to stay calm and carry on - isn't that the saying?  It has just been soooo hot here and I know myself enough to know if I had tried to do all of that running outside, it would've NEVER happened.

My legs are tired, my feet hurt and my knees at any given point are going to give out on me - and yet, I feel the best I've felt in years.  It's so weird, but I've just really let go and let God with this whole process, and I really feel like a weight has been lifted in many ways.  My next goal is to break through the 219 plateau I've been at for a few weeks, now.  I'll go down to 217, only to be right back up the next day.  It's frustrating because I know I'm smaller because m'damn pants are falling off of me (literally.  This actually almost happened yesterday at a birthday party.  Em-barrassing!).  I just want the scale to reflect how I look and feel.  I think it just wants to remain spiteful.

Tomorrow is my off-day for working out, and tonight I'm doing some meal and workout planning to coast into the race on Saturday.  Five more days...

PCOS is a POS

I've been thinking a lot about PCOS lately, and how it majorly affects my weight loss efforts and general health.  I was only diagnosed in December 2009, after I switched OB-GYNs.  My previous doctor, while kind, sweet, and the one that delivered Sawyer, just wasn't listening to me when I said "I think something is wrong."  I kept hearing that I was young, that I had time, and that we had already had one baby without any issues.  All I saw were the months as they went by, one by one.  We really wanted a second child, and it just wasn't happening.  A few months before we decided to start trying I had lost weight, I was working out, I was eating pretty well for someone who had a high stress sales job.  When I went off the pill, it all went to shit.  My body just freaked out and shut down.  I promptly packed on the pounds, my already low energy body was almost lethargic at times and month after month all I ever saw was one pink line.  It was devastating.  I blogged about it on and off on my family blog, and it still makes my heart hurt to read the words I wrote back then.  To top it off, we finally had to resort to using fertility drugs and taking those was almost a full time job in itself.  I have never felt so alone in my life.  Nothing was working, I was a hormonal mess that no one wanted to be around and it was just so hard.  I have tears in my eyes just thinking about it all.  I don't wish it on anyone.  It was the worst.  Obviously we finally got things working and with 150mg of Clomid, along with some progesterone shots and other fun things later, we have our precious Everett!  I wouldn't change any of it, because it made me stronger, but I wish it could have been a bit easier.

So, back to PCOS and weight loss.  The more and more I read, the more I feel like I need to buckle down and change my diet or I'll never see a difference.  I've all but cut out sodas (yay!  This is a major victory.), but I need to do more.  Everything seems to be tied to insulin.  Women with PCOS make excess insulin to regulate blood sugar levels.  They once said diet doesn't matter, but turns out it does.  It's a big deal to cut out junk and concentrate on the proteins and good fats that slow down the digestive process down.  It scares me to think that I'm potentially looking at heart disease or diabetes if I don't get this in check.  It upsets me to know that this will never go away and I'll always be dealing with it.  If it wasn't bad enough going through the fertility issues, now it's just screwing around with my day to day life.  I'm mad that I have this challenge, but I am glad that every victory will be that much sweeter since it was twice as hard to accomplish.

So, I've pretty much given up on C25K for now.  It was a GREAT starting point, but at week 5 it went off the reservation and had me doing long distance runs my body just wasn't quite up to yet.  Along with my friend, we have come up with a plan for the next week to get ready for THE BIG RACE.  I did two miles today, mostly to see how my body did with that distance.  I ran/walked it in 33 minutes doing intervals.  Most of them were 5 minutes running/1.5 minutes walking.  I think I could've done three but I got a phone call that I had to take, so that was the end of that.  My shins hurt a bit, as do my ankles, so I think I'm going to take tomorrow off to rest up.  I'm hoping with the few trainings I have left and the adrenaline that I know I'll have pumping on race day that I'll be able to finish.  I'd love to run the whole thing, and I'll start with that goal, but trust me I won't kick myself if I walk some, too.  I just can't believe its so close!! Seven more days...

M'Pants don't fit

I'm pretty sure my tailor is about to love me.  I have about 10 pairs of pants that need altering in one way or another.  I'm considering it a nice Christmas present for her, a few months early.

Now, trust me.  I am SOOO excited that m'pants don't fit.  Usually I'm crying because I can barely button them, or my muffin top is to the extreme, but hooray - not the case!  I'm just slightly annoyed because 1.  I'm cheap and I don't want to spend MORE money altering Target pants and 2. That I'm still not losing my baby gut area.  Not to be an Eeyore for much longer, I am finding that my legs are looking pretty damn good if I say so myself.

My friend sent me an article yesterday, and it could possible change my life.  Back story on me:  When I was pregnant with Sawyer (my first), I didn't gain any weight until around the fifth month.  I didn't need maternity clothes, I looked generally the same except I had some sweet big boobies that I'd never had before.  Literally, overnight, I "popped" and promptly gained around 18 pounds in the matter of two weeks.  If this sounds at all painful, let me assure you that it was.  It felt like I was being ripped in half, which turns out I was.  Thanks to my sweet, crazy baby(ies - E is not exempt from causing damage) I now have a gap between my abdominal muscles, which has left my stomach in shambles.  It is not pretty.  I have cried many a time over it, too.  I have been told that my only hope is a tummy tuck.  Losing around 18 pounds has helped some, which I knew it would, but it's still awful.  This is called Diastasis Recti, and until yesterday I did not know it could be healed by proper exercises.

Most women I know try and get a flat(ter) tummy as soon as they possibly can after giving birth.  I know I did.  We all do crunches and ab workouts and wonder why things aren't going back down.  Turns out that doing all of those exercises actually makes things worse.  Helene Byrne of BeFit-Mom says: 

In sports and fitness training, what you practice is what you get, i.e., muscle specificity theory. If you allow the abs to balloon during exercise, that is what you are unintentionally training your abs to do. (Yikes!) More importantly, expansion of the abdominal wall worsens abdominal separation and contributes to many postpartum problems, such as lower back pain, pelvic instability, postural problems, and urinary stress incontinence.

Lack of strength and functional control in the TvA is the most common pitfall for all new moms. Most women, who have tried to recondition their abs the traditional way, with lots of crunches, end up with unsatisfactory results. Their abs grow stronger, but never flatten. Their bellies, particularly below the waist, protrude and stay round. 

Man...I do NOT want this eff'ed up tummy anymore.  I am planning on meeting with a few trainers and my doctor to see what their thoughts are on this plan, but I really feel like this might be a way to avoid surgery and help things.  It's worth a shot, right?  

So, in other ground breaking news:  YESTERDAY I RAN A WHOLE MILE WITHOUT STOPPING!  This is such a huge accomplishment for me, I almost started crying when I was done.  I honestly thought it would never happen.  I was slow, it was painful, but I did it.  I feel like some of this hard work is finally paying off!

Here is my first ever mile run in full:

I want Karate Lessons

That is all I ever hear out of my 5 year olds mouth.  I'm about to lose my damn mind.

I keep promising him that I will make him a "chore chart" and let him earn said lessons, but in true "Mom of the Year" fashion, I keep putting it off.  Why, you say?  Because I don't want to pay for it.  They say babies are expensive.  FALSE.  Five year olds are expensive.  Babies like boxes and car keys.  Five year olds want freakin soccer/karate/legos every waking moment.  I wish it counted to Sawyer that we are paying a pretty penny for a wonderful school experience not every kid is afforded, but alas...he just doesn't see it that way.  And it's good that he doesn't, but that doesn't help mommy pay for the damn karate.

I did my C25K today.  I am on Week 5, Day 2.  Today's training was an eight min runs followed by a five minute walk, done twice.  I'm proud to say that I didn't walk at all during either eight minute stretch.  I looked around for my medal when I was done, but it seems they forgot to leave it for me at the front desk of the gym.  As usual, I played "don't let my mind F with me while I'm running" during each jogging stretch.  I'll break it down for you, so you have the scary inner working of me.  It starts out like this:

First Minute: Hey...you...um, FYI, you suck at this.
Me: Yup...well aware of that.  Thanks for reminding me.

Second - Fourth Minute: You know the picture (see below) where it shows a real runner and then the chubby girl?  That is a true story.
Me:  I'm pretty sure I would never wear a yellow windbreaker, though.

Fifth - Seventh Minute: Lionel Richie comes on.  Boom.  I'm dancin on the ceiling.  I got this, bitches.

Eighth Minute:  JUST. KEEP. GOING.  OMG...I have to pee so bad.

Whew...now, repeat that twice and you can see how I felt this morning!  I might have to wear depends while running this blasted race, but hey - you do what you gotta do.

Weight wise, I'm stuck at 219.  I took my measurements yesterday, and they are as follows:

Waist: 40.5 Inches
Left Thigh: 28.25
Right Thigh: 28.25
FUPA area: 48.25 (go away, FUPA.  You are the bane of my existence)
Left arm: 16
Right Arm: 16

So, looks like I'm proportional.  I'm losing weight from my face down and from my toes up - leaving me with this weird bigger belly that needs to go find a new home.  Sawyer told me yesterday that he wants a baby sister (who is named Callie, by the way).  I hope he's kidding.  Though, after spending time with my BFF's girls last night...I totally want one, too.  :)

My Plan for the Week

How is it already Monday?  Better question is, how is it already less than two weeks before the BIG RACE?  I kinda get all sweaty and anxious every time I start to think about it.  I know it will be fine, I know that I'll finish, and I KNOW that I'll consume a few yummy beerz afterwards, but oh my goodness...I can't hardly wait!

My plan for this week is to workout Tuesday and Wednesday for sure, with the Thurs/Fri/Sunday still up in the air.  I would really love to get in four workouts, but I've learned to be really proud and satisfied with the three that usually happens.  I used to beat myself up if I didn't stick to my "plan" - and then just quit it all together.  Seems totally dumb now that I think about it.  It's just like eating a donut...I like them...I'm going to eat them...I'm just going to limit myself and workout even harder if I do decide to indulge.  End of story!  This attitude adjustment has served me well.  I am my own worst critic.  No one can make me feel as bad as I can. (For the most part.  There have been some real bitches in my life that have caused a few issues, but I believe in karma and when you are ugly, all you will receive back is ugly.  So, there.) I just need to not get knocked out of the saddle, and instead use every mistake as a challenge to do better next time.  It's working so far.

Now, one of the biggest things weighing on my mind is what to wear for the BIG RACE.  I'm pretty sure my too large yoga pants and lame UTA tee shirt aren't going to cut it.  I bought a pair of those wind shorts with the underwear in them (OMG, funniest thing ever on me), but I will not be rocking those in public any time soon.  I don't want to spend a lot of money, but I do want something that will last.  My workout clothes are starting to look really sad (and big, YAY!) and I need some new things.  Maybe there will be a Target fashion show in the next few days...

I also need some headphones that stay in my ears while jogging.  I apparently have the worlds tiniest ears.  I'm almost positive my 5 year old has bigger ones (poor guy)than I.  Nothing stays put and it drives.me.CRAZY every time I run.  While cleaning out my super awesome office, I did find a $30 gift card to Best Buy!  I think I'll be headed that way shortly to see what they have.  I also found two gift cards to the movies and my Gucci glasses.  Score!

Taking Control

I have the best friends.  No, seriously.  The very best!  Not everyone has friends that will give up their Saturday to come help a momma-in-need, but I do.  I love this darling girl so much.

Carley is one of the sweetest, funniest people I know.  While I tend to teeter on all things Virgo, she is absolutely the best example of what our astrological sign has to offer.  She is actually a few years younger than me, and I grew up knowing her more as my brothers friend than anything else.  She was never that "pesky sister", though, and I always adored her from day one.  At some point, I saw SNL and thought Mike Meyers was saying Chickey Monkey (um, try cheeky monkey, but oh well.  I shouldn't have been watching it anyway, haha) in one of his skits and I gave her that nickname.  I've called her that ever since.  She is the sister-in-law I should have if my brother had any sense, but I guess I'll just have to accept that he is an idiot.  :)  It really is a shame!

Back to the mess that was/is my house.  I'm not going to lie.  Having your house catch on fire is one of the worst things ever.  I felt like we have never going to fully recover from having our stuff taken away and nearly losing our home.  What was brought back was overwhelming, too, and since I lost my job the week we were moving back in, it was all just too much.  I did what I could handle, but there were many boxes left unpacked and lots of "where in the hell does this go" items strewn around the newly remodeled abode.  My brand new office (formerly my front porch) was literally a storage closet.  The dining room table consistently had piles of random shit on it.    My room had boxes, bookshelves that were full of books that my husband has some weird attachment to, and a closet that I didn't know how to arrange.  So, instead of actually dealing with the issues at hand...I just started to eat, instead.  I had a lot of anger about a lot of things, and I just didn't care anymore.  I found a picture of myself the other day at that time, and it was scary.  I looked like hell.  I looked tired, worn down, and possibly like the next star of "Here Comes Honey Boo Boo."  I was a hot mess.

Then, something changed.  I read all of these blogs where people say they have these epiphany's, these moments of clarity.  I always thought it was because they were trying to sound good on their blogs.  Then, I had one, too.  Something similar to the day I broke down to God, begging him to let me get pregnant after two years of trying.  (I found out I was pregnant the very next day) It was just like, why am I allowing this to happen to me?  No one is making these choices for me, and if ever I had a chance to make a difference this was it.  I was working from home, my stress level was at an all time low, and we were finally settled back into our "new" house.  So, it was time for a change.  And just like that, everyone around me was wanting to help me change, too.  Hubby is in school, so I had to start cooking a lot more.  I challenged myself to start making more dinners at home with yummy, healthy recipes.  A friend randomly challenged me to doing a 5K.  I reconnected with my BFF and most of our dates are at the gym.  Another friend brought me to the Genesis Pure line.  Today, Carley helped me clean out the office area and kitchen table and let me tell you...I feel like a new woman!  Pretty much like I can do anything, which is good considering I have the 5K in two weeks and I'm scared to death it will be a disaster.  It just goes to show me that cleaning is good for the soul, and organization is totally key in this crazy Virgo.  I got a tweet from Virgonian today that said "Strangers think I'm quiet, my friends think I'm outgoing, and my best friends know I'm insane."  I started laughing because that might be closer to the truth than I'd care to admit.  Oh well.  Y'all love me anyway, right?

Thursday Tidbits

I have found it all but impossible to work out this week.  I've only been once.  It's not that I don't WANT to go (I actually do), but it just seems that one thing leads to another and they all end up equalling me not working out.  Not great for a girl that has her first 5K soon.  I have a running date tomorrow, but all I want to do is sleep.  It's been a rough week physically and emotionally, and I'm totes over it.

So, I promised to write about supplements.  If there was ever a girl that hates peddling random products, it's this one right here.  (For the record, I actually feel like selling wine fits into that category.  How I got into the biz in the first place is a long, weird story.  Maybe I'll tell you over a glass of wine sometime?)  I tend to run from those who want to sell to me, as well.  I really, really love my friends that do that for a living, but hosting a Pampered Scentsy Thirty One party is just not something I would like to do.  With that said, I'm a freaking sucker for the latest and greatest weight loss products.   I totally want the quick fix (duh) and will try a lot of stupid shit out in hopes that it will be "the one".  Um...obvi, that hasn't happened yet or I wouldn't be writing this blog to air out all of my dirty, over sized laundry.

Enter Misty and her Genesis Pure. Girlfriend is a born sales person, and above all is a really good person with a big heart.  She called me randomly (or was it?) and said I should try out some of these new products she and her hubby have gotten into.  They are like Olympic athletes or something a lot closer to it than I'll ever be, and they love the supplements.

Que me wanting to run away.

I didn't though, and drove the two streets over to collect my generous goody bag o' products from Genesis Pure.  Overall there were some busts, some of them fell into the "I don't know what in the hell this is for" category and then...there it was...the SHAKE.

I can't stand shakes.  Remember when I mentioned my sons having issues with texture?  Well, that fun trait is probably from me.  I've grown out of most of my issues, but I really, really, like for realz don't like shakes at all.  Carnation Instant Breakfast makes me want to vomit just thinking about it.  I did the Shakeology cleanse for three days and actually puked up the shake one day because it just got to be too much.  So, I'm sure you can understand my hesitance to try yet another "super, going to change your life, awesome sauce for sure" shake product.  Alas, I am super frugal and not a waster (remember the chicken nuggets?) so I went ahead and made the blasted thing just so I could bitch about another shake product sucking.

Too bad that isn't what happened!

Holy crap.  I liked it.  Actually, I love it!  I have ordered my own and need to reorder more tomorrow.  It's delicious!  It doesn't have a metallic taste, I can blend it with frozen fruit and it makes a great breakfast that holds me at full until lunch.  Who knew it was possible!??

Since the Great Shake Discovery of 2012, I've also ordered the Green Coffee Bean extract pill.  This pill is supposed to do...something.  There is quite a long description, but the gist is that it helps with weight loss, blood sugar levels and doesn't give you the shakes.  I've taken it for a few days, and I've dropped a few lbs.  I'm skeptical to say that this pill is actually the reason for the drop, but I guess only time will tell.

**Major victory for the day:  I didn't drink a Diet Coke at lunch.  Man....I totally wanted one, though.

Skinny Jeans

Wednesday, September 12, 2012

I saw a friend today, and she totally made me feel good about how I am looking.  We haven't seen each other in a few weeks, and she said she could totally tell I've lost some weight in the ole' tummy area.  She made the comment that I was only wearing dresses previously, and now I'm rocking some skinny jeans.   This is a true story:  I was too fat for m'pants.  Anyone that has been preggarz knows all about the elastic-waisted maternity pants.  Ever since I wore them, it's been hard to want to wear anything else in the pants department.  They are just THAT comfortable.  So, what does a chubby bunny do?  She wears dresses.  All of the time.  Like, every day.  You can't see a muffin top in a dress, and it's so much nicer looking than your super big, worn out yoga pants.  *side note-my yoga pants have actually made it to yoga classes thankyouverymuch.  Boom.  Anyway, I found some skinny jeans at Target (one of my aforementioned four stores that I shop at) and promptly bought three pairs.  I am now the proud owner of black, teal and purple pants.  I am so cool I can hardly stand it.  Too bad I don't have shit to wear them with...but, that's a whole other adventure.  The pants fit, so by chubby bunny law I had to buy them.

You know what I am the worst about?  Finishing the kids' food.  Chicken nugget all alone on the plate?  No problem, I'll just pop that in my pie hole.  Left over spaghetti?  Let me take care of that, too.  I come from the "clean your plate" generation, so I feel its my civic duty to not waste food.  There are starving kids in Africa, after all.  My children are finicky eaters, and never eat a lot or very consistently. They both have huge issues with texture, and hate more things than they like.  The oldest is getting more adventurous, but still isn't the best eater.  The baby...oh, the sweet baby.  Well, let's just go ahead and state at 22 months, he is finally off the bottle (milk kind) and I'm afraid that has made him a bit behind in the food department.  I'm betting, however, that he grows up to be a foodie/chef/master sommelier because his favorite food is filet mignon.  I know that this is phase, and soon enough these boys will be eating me out of house and home.  It's just never fun buying baby food for your almost two year old because he won't eat anything else.

I went and had my foot looked at and got a massage to help with my calf muscles and foot pain.  I didn't go to the gym today in hopes that a days rest would help things along.  I never thought that I'd see the day where I actually felt guilty missing my workout, but I do.  I guess a blind squirrel can find a nut every once in awhile.

Ooh - Weight today: 218.  Down 2 lbs!  I started taking Genesis Pure Green Coffee Bean pills.  I will be doing a whole post tomorrow on Genesis Pure, but for now...apparently this stuff is quite legit.

The Beginning

My name is Jenn.  I'm pleasantly plump.  I've had two kids, a slight addiction to food and yummy, yummy drinks and I have let myself go.  This is my journey of changing all of that.

In my head, I'm still a size 10-12 hot college chick.  The mirror, and all major clothing retailers, like to prove that otherwise.  I don't remember having a weight issue in high school, and honestly don't ever remember freaking out about my weight in my early years.  I feel really, really lucky about that one.  My best friend, among others, had a serious eating disorder and I get how difficult that can be. I love me most days, and have no aspirations to be super skinny.  I just want to feel good again and be able to WALK INTO ANY STORE AND BUY SOME EFFIN' CLOTHES.  Big girls can feel me on this one.  It's so hard/frustrating to be limited in which stores you can buy clothes from.  Boutique clothing - for.get.about.it.  I love fashion, and while I'm not super trendy, I love looking nice and having fun jewelry to accessorize with.  When you can only shop in 4 stores (for the record, my list is 1. Target 2. Macy's 3. Dillards 4. Kohls), and you only have a tiny section in the back to choose from life can be a bit defeating.  I'll never forget the day I went into a shop in California with two of my girlfriends and nothing, not ONE THING, fit and I had to sit there while they bought the latest and greatest super skinny jeans.  In one way, it goes to show you that your friends don't see the fat on you the way you see it, but in another way it was just a kick to the gut.  This trip was before I had kiddos, too.  I can't even say I'd attempt another trip in one of those stores right now.

So here I am.  I'm about three weeks away from my first 5K.  I'm only on week 5 of Couch 2 5K, and struggling daily to fit a workout in/not talk myself into going back to bed.  I'm a former athlete turned slug and this is my time to change my ways.  So, here is the run down of where I'm at and what I'm doing to change things.

Weight: 220

Thoughts about weight:  Holy Shit.  Who let the fat girl on the damn scale?  Weight is weird for me.  I am one of those women who fluctuates 5-8 lbs a day.  Too much salt/bread/booze/pizza - boom, 4 lbs gained right away.  Caloric intake is crucial for me, and they need to be smart calories, too.  I just love pizza soooooo much....

Size: Pretty much a solid 18

Thoughts on this size: Well, it's better than the 22 I was at previously.  There is no "2" at the beginning of it.  Small victories, people.

Exercise: Tuesday, I went and did my C25K training.  I also stretched for about 20 minutes.  My goal is to be at the gym 3x a week.  Anymore workouts are a bonus!

Food: I'm starting my day every morning with a Genesis Pure Complete Shake.  Future posts will talk about my issues with supplements/shakes, but I will say this one is DELICIOUS and mixed with berries, it's a great way to start the day.  I even prefer it over donuts.  For real.  For the rest of my meals, I'm trying to stick with salads, lean proteins and low carbs.  I don't have a strict meal plan, because those never work for me.  I made the mistake of buying a can of Nutella, though.  I'm slowly polishing that bad boy off one vanilla wafer at a time.  It's just soooo good....